10 : A Story for the Grandkids

Church was over. Lunch was on the counter. And the Olympics were on television. Rose and I had just commented on how neither of us realized Men’s Indoor Volleyball was a real sport.

“This is no good,” Rose said. “Men’s Beach Volleyball is way better. These are all tall pasty white guys.”

Meanwhile, Mom prepped us for lunch by mentioning that there was no ice for the drinks. This was a little more than Francis could handle. He stuck his head in the freezer.

“Well,” he said, pulling out a large chunk of ice, “we still have these old hailstones.”

“You can’t have those. Carrie would be mad.”

“I’m just taking one.”

I think it ended up on the floor.

We ended up driving the boys around the area for awhile to coax Yali into a nap. About two hours later we found ourselves in Augusta by an old corn field near an un-mown baseball field.

Without thinking, Puck shucked an ear of fresh corn off a stalk.

“Uh, Puck? Are you a corn thief?”

“Oops.”

He tossed it back for the critters. Then he walked his forehead right into the sharp corner of the metal bleachers, which sent a resonating vibration through the ball field. There were no lumps or bruises, but it was quite a whack.

On the drive home, Puck had thoughts on the brain.

“Well, that’s going to be a story to pass down to the grandkids,” he said. “The day Uncle Puck stole a corncob and got punished by running his head into the corner of the bleachers.”

Sounded like one for the books.

“You know why it’s stupid to believe in unicorns?” he asked after awhile.

“Why?”

“Because the Bible doesn’t tell us that they were there. God created all the animals that ever existed. Unicorns just can’t come out of the mist.”

We ended up at the church Hymn Sing that evening to celebrate our pastor’s 25th anniversary. Curly and Lulu drove over from Nashville to lead it. And there was cake. Chocolate cake. As soon as Yali heard about cake, he marched for the church doors across the parking lot.

“CAKE! CAKE! CAKE!” he bellowed in a voice that I think he borrowed from a ravenous tiger.

Two minutes later, he stuffed his face.