Apple Farm
Sunday, September 25, 2011
In which there is an abundance of apples…
Now that the two services had become one, Collette found herself thinking that perhaps creating a ‘This seat reserved for Collette Silverspoon.’ was not a half-bad idea. It would be just like the old days when families reserved, or purchased, whole pews at church. But how to go about doing so without causing a scandal…
And who should make an appearance at church that morning, but Mr. and Mrs. Sparrow, whose son Collette had a crush on for five years while she was in grade school. One of the three crushes prior to the deciding factor of OLeif:
- red-headed boy born in Germany
- second oldest of nine children, followed a girl to Indiana and became a masseuse
- Hungarian seven years her senior who converted to Judaism
And OLeif was reveling in his new fire-hose Duluth pants, which were pretty much lifetime-guaranteed.
Upon return to the house, a battle was commencing between Dad and Carrie: live streaming of John MacArthur behind the pulpit, or lunch… Just about the time the orchestra was gearing up…
“Lunch!” Carrie shouted, skipping the eggplant course.
Caesar salad, drop biscuits, and brownies for dessert.
“Anyone who watches John MacArthur, can’t have brownies,” said Carrie grumpily.
Dad just got his smile lines.
Decisions were being made as to who would accompany the crowd intended for apple picking…
“Why don’t we just go apple picking at Dierberg’s,” said Francis.
“If I go, I’ll just sit in the car and read,” said Dad.
“They have chairs for that there,” said OLeif.
“Yeah,” said Carrie. “Grumpy Man Chair.”
“Well, if you’re staying at home, Dad,” said Carrie, “you can drive me to Sephora and Victoria’s Secret. We’ll have a Father-Daughter Day.”
Dad went apple picking.
After lunch, Carrie repotted George.
When Rose returned from the 35th anniversary celebration of the senior pastor’s tenure at Memorial, the family split between the Odyssey and the Fit (excepting Carrie, who opted to remain at home to catch some sun on the patio), and drove off for Eckert’s.
“There are 5,000 ways to get to the apples,” Puck crowed. “…How long is forever, Mama?”
“As long as you can think.”
There were other thoughts on the long autumn drive… such as the time Dad had jumped fifteen feet out of a tree in the back yard, wounded his ankle, and was sent on crutches. Shortly later, they had been celebrating holidays at Grandpa Combs’ — pool party. When no one else was looking, Carrie began to drown. And Dad flew over, tossed the crutches, and saved her. That was the second time he had saved Carrie from drowning. The first time had been in Ohio when she and Collette had gone under at the same time in their pink inner-tubes at the apartment pool where they sometimes visited with a pair of sisters from Holland.
Vacant lots and stores passed along the highway as Another one Bites the Dust thumped on the radio. Times weren’t the best. But they also weren’t the worst, either.
As they neared the Alton bridge, Dad pointed out a location to the right.
“That’s where I used to sell fireworks when I was a kid,” he said.
The 1837 farm was crowded, but not uncomfortably so. Five hay wagons were rolling. Camel rides. A fly-over motor-craft. And the usual influx of Japanese visitors.
Once they arrived amidst the gnarls of Golden Delicious and Red Delicious on the other side of the road, it didn’t take long for the mischief to stir…
“Look. There are all the dead apple trees ready to burn,” said Francis, grinning.
He knew Mom didn’t like this idea; she couldn’t help but feel sorry for them, like she did with all the leftover Christmas trees at the Boy Scout lot.
“Apple core!” said Rose. “Who’s your friend? Pow.”
A couple of shots here and there at the ankles…
Joe reeled back and take a punch at a rotten apple.
“I just punched an apple in the face!” he roared.
Pay-up in the small shop of Amish noodles, apple butter, preserves, etc. A funnel cake for Joe. Cold cider for 25 cents a cup. Collette had a few sips as well.
When they returned to the car, Dad agreed to drive them through the old neighborhoods that OLeif and Collette had found in the heights of Alton by the Catholic church. Past a free canoe on the side of the street, and up to a crevice they had not before seen. Three flights of quiet stone steps through the woods up to a grassy bluff park. Joe and Francis raced each other, Joe barefooted. And a good lookout, near a whitewashed stone gazebo.
“Isn’t that darling?” Puck asked with a giggle. “Don’t you agree, Donkey?”
A walk further down past the ancient homes over the river and tumbling vines that seemed very much like enormous green tents below the fenced path.
A brief slip by the Silverspoon’s, where Theodore and Gloria were out to dinner, for OLeif to pick up his bike. And a bag of goodies from Gloria’s travels, including: Texan coffee, iTunes gift cards, a book for Puck, and bundles of nutty-candy.
When they walked in the door shortly after seven o’clock, Carrie was cuddling Linnea and making her sing An Ordinary Day. Once she had sufficiently escaped…
Puck was cornered next, giggling as Carrie blew on his bare belly in exchange for…
“And now you may have a brownie,” Carrie told him.
“You’re exactly right, Sun.”
The torture round continued with…
“Christmas wishes!” Carrie screeched in her funny way to Joe, patting her lap.
“No!”
“Rose?”
“Aaah!”
“OK,” said Dad, coming over to squish her.
“Aaah! My rib!” Carrie laughed, poking him off. “All you’re going to get is coal and John MacArthur toilet paper rolls for Christmas.”
Information exchanged: Rose was to train to become the new Systems Administrator at Tapestry because the former Systems Admin was moving to another position in California. Unbelievable the things she was able to do…
And then the caramel apples were crafted, popcorn popped, and the bonfire was lit into an enormous inferno before Carrie prepared to leave with Lucia, and Joe was having Wally and Lolli over to the nuclear mound to view the stars with Wally’s telescope. As the fire roared, Puck hugged the popcorn bowl until he had his fill. Then lifting the battery-powered lantern, he announced…
“I’m going off into the darkness. See you later.”
Until Joe mentioned wolves and Rose suggested deer…
“You’d better watch out,” she said. “They like to do tap dances on your head.”