Batten Down the Bathroom
“I declare that this is my favorite yogurt!” Puck finished the last – apparently delectable – spoonful of mango-strawberry yogurt at breakfast, and added a final piece of silver duct tape to his already black electrical taped space gun. Approving of his latest creation/invention, he left the table to visit the bathroom.
Major. Clog… There was no fixing this one until Bær got home.
“Puck. Do not. Flush. The. Toilet,” I solemnly warned.
I probably turned my back for a few seconds. I can’t remember.
FLUSH!
“OH NO! MOM! MOM! I FORGOT! I FORGOT! HELP! HELP!”
SPLASH. Everywhere… Towels, disinfectant. We were back in operation.
“Puck. Do not. Flush. The. Toilet.”
I guess it was about twenty minutes later…
FLUSH!
“UH OH! MOM! MOM! I FORGOT! I FORGOT!”
Towels, disinfectant. Back in operation. While I cleaned away another hamper of soaked towels, I sent Puck back to math.
“Tell me what your answer is!” I called from the hallway.
“I don’t know!”
By this time, I was mildly upset. “Puck, if you say ‘I don’t know’ one more time, you’re eating paper.”
“I don’t know!”
“That does it. Paper sandwich for lunch!”
I continued to mop up. A minute later, Puck walked around the corner.
“Uck. Yuck. Paper tastes terrible.”
He takes me literally.
Fortunately, after Puck spilled a full glass of water across the kitchen table, we were able to take a break from further disasters by visiting the dentist.
“I love the dentist!” Puck grinned happily, waiting for his name to be called, eyeing the “treasure box” by the reception desk. “I love the treasure more than anything in this shop; but I love the dental floss even more!”
Clean bill, both pearly arches. A bag of goodies, and we were out the door. Walgreen’s photo department, eggs, and a Belly Washer for Puck. I had forgotten about the bathroom.
After lunch, I locked the bathroom door. Just to be safe. Apparently my emergency response system was under scrutiny that day, because…
FLUSH!
“PUCK! SERIOUSLY?!”
Some days, it pays to be a plumber.
“Mom, to apologize for flushing the toilet, I will help you take this basket of towels downstairs. You don’t have to be embarrassed that you need help.”
Who can be mad? When half a jar of peanuts went down on the floor an hour later, I was prepared. And resigned. I also asked Bær to bring home more bleach.
Adoption Status: Down: 4 years, 1 month; To Go: 2 years, 2 months