Begin the Big Blow-up!

Tuesday, July 5, 2005

(Installment I)

The Fourth of July had been delightfully gray and cool, promising rain, a great change from all of the other Independence Days of the past recent years. It was cozy all wrapped up in the Combs’ old house where Mom and Uncle Mo had grown up.

And beforehand at the house, Collette made deviled eggs while Mom told her about a building in Old St. Charles for which Mr. Swiss had hired archaeologists to work. He thought there was a possibility it was the oldest building in St. Charles, possibly dating it back to the 1760’s, and already as they unearthed layer by layer they had found numerous artifacts such as a clay pipe, horse bit, and the like. Mr. Swiss said they could come down and help out any time, and so Mom, Carrie-Bri, Elizabeth, Collette, and Rose (the aspiring archaeologist) would head down one Saturday morning soon, no doubt.

Meanwhile, Dad played at Top Gun, bang-bang-ing Francis’ gun around the house after just having come home from a good run. And Joe walked around the house in his new rocket-orange rubber police jacket, looking very spiffy. And Carrie had a large bandage wrapped around her right thumb.

“Yeah,” she was saying, “I came home from work last night and it was midnight. So I thought I was going to be so patriotic and shoot off the first fire-work of the Fourth of July. To celebrate our great country and to celebrate Ernest’s birthday… So I get out there on the patio and light the thing, and the fuse landed on my thumb. It burnt it white and black, it was so bad.”

However, she was greatly consoled by Dad driving the green slug past Ernest’s house on the way to the Combs. She was practically (no, actually) squealing in delight.

And at the Combs, Lucia was tired from having stayed up till two o’clock that morning. She lay on the couch in her penguins shirt and holey jeans. But she soon livened up after everyone began talking and laughing. And there were several rounds of Catchphrase in the basement.

Carrie and Lucia also discussed planning a trip to Opryland in the fall before Lucia started school. Collette was pleased to learn that Lucia was already signed up for classes and would be majoring in psychology, beginning at the Florissant Valley Community College. She also had applied to work part-time at a day spa.

And after everyone had polished off the goodies of dinner (including a watermelon basket created by Aunt Petunia and Lucia and a triple chocolate chip cake for dessert – a Combs favorite), over the course of four hours, it was time to leave for the concert and fireworks at the Florissant Civic Center.

On the way down, they squished themselves into the big green slug (exactly fifteen people) and Collette glanced over a magazine of Rose’s. Inside, she saw a picture of a cocktail ring of citrine and diamond and seahorses worth over $70,000.

“Insanity,” she said, as she and Carrie shook their heads.

That even surpassed what Carrie and Lucia always talked about having for their engagement rings.

“I have to be rich some day,” Lucia had sighed at the table that afternoon.

“Remember our plan,” Carrie nodded toward her slyly, “we find ourselves some Jewish men…”

“And this time, you can’t shout ‘Jesus loves you!’ to them,” Grandma groaned. “That’s exactly what she did down in U. City. Rolled down her window, and yelled across to these two Jews, Orthodox Jews…”

They all guffawed. Lucia didn’t care who she told about Jesus, no matter how comical the situation might be.

“Oh, I’m looking forward to my wedding,” Lucia said dreamily. “Maybe it will be the most expensive wedding ever.”

Meanwhile, the concert was quite lovely in the cool gray of the evening – a big band sound, whose members would be traveling to Germany the following week – Bavaria – castles, mountains, and beer (as the announcer put it).

And as they played, Joe curled up in his soft new saucer chair and Rose told Collette and OLeif about how she made Snuggles do a bongo dance the previous afternoon.

“Hey, we’re going to check out a weather report,” Carrie told them, as she and Lucia ran off somewhere.

They returned shortly later, looking disappointed.

“So what’s the weather look like?” Collette asked.

“Oh, just fine,” Carrie hinted.

“Right, what did you really leave for?” Collette asked them.

“Well, we were actually checking out the firefighters, but they left before we got there.”

Collette laughed and rolled her eyes.

Meanwhile, the ice cream stand by the theater box office was selling drumsticks and ice cream sandwiches by the truckload and Grandma brought over a handful of red heart-shaped fans from her friends at the Lutheran center. And OLeif and Lucia discussed how her new flat cell-phone could open her garage door and order burgers.

“It can even shoot off a space ship,” she boasted.

Francis and Linnea picked up a balloon apiece from one stand, after which Francis immediately lost his to the sky as he bopped it rapidly against his fist like a paddle-ball and it detached.

Then a barbershop quartet took the stage as the band took a break.

“Oh, Lord, help us,” Lucia moaned.

During their performance, Carrie and Lucia thought they spied former Miss America in the crowd.

“Hey, I was only kidding when I said, ‘Who invited Miss America’,” Carrie said. “Let’s go get her autograph.”

And so the girls brought Grandma with them, who had already met her, (just to be sure they weren’t mistaken), and Collette saw Shandi shake their hands and sign their fans.

The girls tripped back to their seats.

“Yeah, it was her alright,” Lucia said. “And she’s going to be the host of some game show on a cable station.”

“Lingo,” Grandma said. “That’s the name of it.”

Shandi, a resident of Florissant, had been Miss America in 2004. There she was, looking all perfect, (as the girls said), in a white skirt, sky-blue tank, long swishing blond hair, and a large ornate necklace.

“She said her dad was in the Secret Service,” Carrie said. “Special agent.”

“Yeah… I wonder if she’ll do something tonight,” Lucia said.

“She’ll probably light the fire works,” Carrie replied. Then putting on her blond-accent and pretending to light a fuse – “Begin the big blow-up!”

And so the girls continued to discuss the weather and becoming rich and famous.

“OLeif!” Lucia exclaimed. “Will you be my paparazzi? No, seriously. I need practice.”

“Sure,” he said. “We’ll start now.”

He pulled over his camera from the tripod.

“But, Lucia,” Collette laughed, “you hate having your picture taken.”

“Not anymore!” She grunted.

And so she began walking up and down in front of the group with her fan while OLeif flashed the lens. After ten seconds, she became mortally embarrassed and sat down while they all laughed.

Suddenly the sky became dark as the last of the orange and rose of the sun had been covered by the dark clouds, and the crowd rose to the Star Spangled Banner. Then Queens walked up with her two young sisters and little brother who sprawled themselves out on a blanket in preparation for the “big blow-up”.

Miss America did have a part to play in the show, and between two of the bands’ pieces, she got up on stage to briefly talk about her love for Florissant, with the mayor. She had helped raise $30,000,000 for cancer research, had attended P. Ditty’s birthday party, traveled to Korea with Wayne Newton during a monsoon, and traveled all over the whole world in general. Lucia was stoked – she wanted to plan her future living in L.A. and acting immediately.

“I’m going to go talk to her right now. Someone come with me to talk with her. I need to talk about my career. I’m not even kidding. I’m sure she has an agent!” She exclaimed.

“Good luck, Lucia,” Carrie chuckled. “Go right ahead.”

Lucia changed her mind, as no one would walk over with her. But it was alright, as the show went on. The band began a medley including the theme songs of the Army, Coast Guard, Marines, Air Force, and Navy. During each theme song, the veterans and members of that division of the military, stood to be recognized by the audience. It was a proud moment.

Meanwhile, a little boy from Guatemala giggled with his adopted family in front of them. And Aunt Petunia talked with his grandmother about her new job, as they had worked together in the past.

Lucia began singing to a “Meet Me in St. Louis” medley:

“Something something something went my heart strings,” she croaked (not being fully warmed up), “I love this song! Carrie, sing!”

The kids ran off for ice cream and such. Uncle Larry hiked down to the grocery store for a soda, and Aunt Petunia temporarily confiscated Joe’s saucer chair in his absence. OLeif then began dumping piles of grass on Lucia’s shoes and jeans. And she began throwing them back in his face, knocking off his glasses.

“Oh, oh, I’m so sorry!” She cried. “Wait – no, I’m not.”

And finally, as everyone goofed off, the show began with a tremendous crack and blinding white light. And thus the show commenced. It was like what Samwise said,

“The finest rockets ever seen,

They burst in stars of blue and green…

Or after thunder… silver showers…

Came falling like a… rain of flowers…”

Although this would have to be combined with amazing “earth-shakers” as Carrie-Bri and Collette had always called the biggest and loudest ones. But they weren’t in the best spot to have the earth-shakers echo off the hills (as Carrie concluded). It was a great show and half-way through, as the previous year, the crowd began to pack up, thinking it was over because the only thing that continued to glow was a set of fountains on the green. But then the roar and screamers and fire flowers burst all over again.

Just before the finale, Linus and Joe began a grass war, throwing mounds of it at each other. Mom and Dad, Uncle Mo and Aunt Petunia laughed at them. Finally, Grandma had enough and grabbed at Linus’ foot from where she sat in her chair. Linus, on the ground, began to pull away, and no sooner had he done so, but he pulled Grandma down with him! And there Grandma stayed, and wouldn’t let go of his foot till he begged for mercy, and not even then would she budge.

“Help!” He screamed, laughing his head off, as was everyone else.

“Pull his pants down, Grandma!” Lucia clapped her hands together.

“No!” Linus yelled at her.

And just as the explosion of the finale came off, Grandma relinquished her prisoner and Linus scurried off to the other side of their crowd. And all in all, it was quite a magnificent big blow-up.

On the way back to the van, Lucia danced around with her fan.

“I’m just so excited! I don’t even know why. Grandma, that was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life!”

(Installment II)

In world news, Hillary Rodham Clinton was in Singapore petitioning for New York to host the summer Olympic games of 2012.

And Tuesday had begun another week of Rose off at 5-Day Clubs, this time with Annamaria. And Carrie was soon off with Paige Popp to Kansas City at eleven o’clock that morning, (after a quick tan for Carrie).

Meanwhile, Collette continued reading Nancy Drew to Linnea while Joe installed new brakes on his bike, prepared for his Eagle Scout project, and looked at a scholarship essay with Collette. It seemed to be the usual sort of lazy summer day. In the afternoon, Linnea found a lightening bug which she promptly named Lightening, and carefully constructed a habitat for him out of a tissue box complete with lining, blossoms from Mom’s tree, and water dish. Then following a game with Collette, she joined Mom outside with her mocha, who was watching the boys shoot off bottle rockets in mole hills.

There was word from Rose later that their first club had included around twenty children. And Rose had even been able to lead a little girl to Jesus and give her a Bible. It seemed to be a promising week.

“Don’t forget to come see the fireworks tomorrow night at the Hobcoggins,” Joe called after them as Collette and OLeif left that evening.

And he and Mom waved them off from the front porch, Joe in his favorite place – on the seat of his bike.