Consequences

A wall of deep blue storm cloud crept in from the west during the service that morning. Presbyterian churches like to use buildings with windows; fine by me.

Inside, Puck’s ears perked up during the sermon when the pastor mentioned the space-time continuum.

“Ha ha!” he laughed in recognition.

“Ha!” Yali laughed, too, and grinned a big toothy type of grin in my lap; mockingbird.

Following the rainstorm and service, Puck was having a hard time knocking back a plate of chicken-artichoke casserole at the Big House. Carrie-Bri and Rose teased him about the potential consequences that might follow if he didn’t polish off the remains.

“Well, you know, Puck, I might have to downgrade some of your birthday presents if you can’t finish your lunch… What do you think about gummy worms?” Carrie suggested.

“Make that half-gummy worms,” Rose added.

Puck appeared unmoved.

“Oh, and how about a certificate to the dentist?” Carrie asked.

This one, Puck was not prepared for. “What?”

“And money for your college fund, of course,” Rose said.

“Have you ever had a pedicure?” Carrie asked.

At this point, Puck might have been thinking that chicken didn’t look so bad.

It was a lazy sort of Sunday afternoon. The game was dragging out longer and longer down in Atlanta, one of those three and a half hour deals. And some frustrations were rising on the field.

“Yeah, Mom,” Carrie told her after awhile, “You should have seen what Adam Wainwright said on the mound while you were napping. He yelled, ‘CRAAAP!’”

Mom gasped a little. “Well, I would have kicked him out of the game for saying that!” We’re convinced that Mom still lives in 1904.

Meanwhile, Rose would occasionally boldly declare the name of any player she didn’t see fit to remain a Cardinal.

“He threw two bad pitches in a row! He’s terrible! I would fire him!”

“He’s one of the best pitchers in baseball, Rose.”

“No, he’s not! He’s terrible! I would fire him!”

I’m glad my family isn’t in the business of baseball.