Farewell, Buns
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Before departing that morning, Puck was busy packing his bag for the day and threatening to send trouble makers to the “duck house”…
“With all that quacking around,” he said seriously.
Back on the ranch, Carrie was icing carrot cakes for the party and frying up sausages and cinnamon roll pancakes for breakfast. Puck had the hiccoughs and was sitting in the corner already by 7:44.
Half an hour at the office and back out the door without having seen, or heard, from a single soul, into frigid sunshine, glazing frost from the night, and passage past a subtle tornado siren spinning at 9:03am.
Upon her return, Puck was ready for reading lessons. And Collette started Francis and Linnea on their televised mathematics series over peppermint, a tin of embroidery floss bracelets for Linnea, and a bag of Mission tortilla chips and jar of chili cheese dip for Francis. And various ACT preparations. Linnea was in the usual get-up garb for school: paint-splattered dark red nylon track pants, The Bravery black t-shirt, and gray sweater from Carrie’s high school days, sloppy pony tail. They wasted no time fighting over the pencil box. While Mom and Carrie-Bri took Puck for last minute shopping for the party. Of course, Collette had to anticipate that two unruly math students would pull out all the stops to avoid the textbook, including drilling Collette for Cardinals facts. Collette did not fall for these antics.
When the shopping crew returned, Collette allowed a break for the lunch as Linnea flipped on The Waltons in Mom’s and Dad’s room. Carrie iced the cake in frosting carrots and Mom ringed it with a small wood and wire picket fence.
Meanwhile, OLeif had been suffering from pain of the throat, eye, and tooth, due to further issues with the sinuses.
Next, Francis made the error of opening the front door for Snuggles before inspecting the contents of his mouth. The tiny shrew took off, under the door to the basement steps in a small hurry, and lump, lump, lump, down the stairs in a tumble of soft fur and tiny black eyes. Fortunately, Carrie stopped it from going any further, but not before it ran up the sleeve of her sweatshirt which was temporarily terrifying. Francis provided a mason jar, and the furry creature was deposited by Linnea in the corner of the backyard, Puck watching from the patio.
“I’m freezing like a shiver bean!” he announced, returning indoors.
“He’s snuggling under the leaves,” Linnea informed them, returning from her mission in Carrie’s Uggs.
Then Carrie trimmed all the buns’ nails, Mom napped, Puck enjoyed corn chips over another reading lesson, and Joe returned from work. And Carrie-Bri brought in a handful of balloons to attach with mint dental floss to the corners of the play pen. She handed them to Francis…
“Blow,” she instructed.
“Oooh. I want to do some,” said Linnea.
Two puffs in and she had to sit down…
“I have asthma,” she laughed at herself.
Then the long squiggly balloon popped across the floor as Francis laughed at his error.
“Francis!” Carrie bellowed. “That was supposed to be for the arch!”
Then Collette administered their algebra quizzes after three o’clock while Puck went on to his second green apple and performed a cacophonous duet with his grandpa on the piano. Francis was gone to teach swimming classes at five o’clock. A light dinner was served. And Dad prepared for his telephone interview regarding his dissertation. Rose arrived with a small case of sparkling S. Pellegrinos and two biodegradable bags of Garden Salsa Sun Chips.
6:30 arrived quickly. In attendance was the entire family, including Aunt Petunia and Grandma Snicketts. Lucia had an interview for the receptionist position at a massage parlor. And OLeif returned from work just in time to join the burgeoning guests. Though the Snicketts boys had originally all been banned, every one: Dad for exiling the buns in the first place, Joe for insulting their intelligence, and Francis for mentioning something about a stew, Carrie eventually exhibited grace by allowing them back into the inner sanctum. The evening commenced with the arrival of the buns in the living room, photo ops, and the spread of homemade carrot cakes (including one sugar free for Aunt Petunia), the Milk Duds and Whoppers, chips, and sparkling juice. Then Joe took off for Wally’s. OLeif, red-nosed, seemed to be feeling better… at first… Puck marched around feeding the buns straggly strands of parsley from Grandma, wearing a New Year’s neck tie. Mom had turned on some old tunes from the 30’s and 40’s. Francis returned from the Y. Grandma had brought a check for the bunny foundation. Aunt Petunia shared a video of wild mountain gorillas in Uganda. And as the cake was cut by Dad, Puck apparently thought it looked very nice…
“For goodness sake, I love it!” he declared.
As the Silverspoons were leaving, Magnus arrived, just in time to slap Grandma a high five. And despite OLeif feeling pretty horrible, it could be said that everything went very well.