Happy Things, Rose
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
OLeif lifted Collette up into the air for no reason, as he often did.
“Dude. Careful,” Collette warned, feeling her ribs creak like an old pirate ship.
“What?”
“You’re an ox.”
“So what?”
“Have you ever seen a delicate ox?”
“Sure. In a china shop. Bulls can be refined too.”
A volcano of giggles erupted from Puck tinkering with Legos in the hall.
“Puck. You’re playing Legos on the floor, naked. Get some pants on!”
OLeif’s car-story to Puck covered clams, castles, polite fish named Geoffrey, sheds of pearls, and seaweed farmers out of season.
Mom’s cell rang before nine. It was Judah.
“Who’s coming up today?” Mom repeated. “Well, it’s me, Collette, Puck, and maybe Linnea…”
“Why does he want to know who’s coming up there?” Carrie-Bri raised an eyebrow. “Is he planning to murder somebody?”
[As disclaimer, this is clearly not outside the realm of Snicketts inner-brain thinking… even if in jest… mostly.]
Mom ended the conversation…
“They need witnesses to sign their will,” Mom explained.
“Wills, eh?” Carrie replied. “Sounds pretty suspicious to me…”
“They’re leaving the country in two weeks,” said Collette.
“Exactly. Probably holding a grudge because you thought he was Amish.”
A simple endeavor – locating a notary to sign a will…
Took much longer than expected.
Mom, Collette, and Puck followed in the car behind.
Bank – couldn’t notarize wills.
First recommended location – no notary available.
Second recommended location – wouldn’t notarize wills.
Quick stop for an 8 MM camcorder cleaning tape at Radioshack for Carrie to continue her work.
Third recommended location – the DMV. Who knew. Puck and Hesed chased each other around while the papers were drawn up, which Mom, Collette, and Babe Ruth all signed.
“Well, I’m sorry to say that, in signing these papers, you are denied any access to our money when we die,” Judah explained, after Mom had done her share.
Wasn’t that just too bad.
There was time for Mom to snag an iced tea-lemonade and six fresh chocolate chip cookies before returning to church, which was only one point seven-five hours later – done.
“We’ll just have to do this again sometime,” Mom laughed.
“I’m so glad you see it that way, Adelaide,” Liz grinned.
Puck and Hesed tore up the town while Solomon unleashed Noah’s flood in the hallways of the Sunday School until siphoning himself into dream worlds for an hour and a half.
Linnea won a bag of yellow corn chips at volleyball camp.
Collette made nachos.
After Puck made new friends with the neighbors down the street by attaching the large orange snow sled to his bike and explaining how it worked, he called Collette into the living room. He had arranged a package of deli turkey, jar of grape jelly, and half a stick of butter on the side table…
“This is what I want for dinner.”
Another day ended quickly as Collette and Carrie-Bri prepared to join the passel of buddies waiting at Plush in the city – a casual organic-fresh restaurant near St. Louis University.
“I saw a guy throwing up down there today,” Rose nodded out the kitchen window.
Of course.
Carrie forced eye contact with the kittens…
“Look at my eyeballs!”
Rose was just finishing a phone conversation with Joe…
“…and a Happy New Year to you too.”
Magnus joined them later to drive out with a hand-drawn card for Rose.
Maybe Rose wasn’t exactly expecting eleven guests.
But that’s what she got.
Bing, Annamaria, Rosetta Goldmist, a married friend with kids and her husband from church (in an age of life where Rose could still classify people that way), Bendedict, and Aristotle George also attended.
Brisket pot pies, shrimp and grits, gruyere grilled cheese, chocolate gooey butter “thingy”, burgers on fresh-baked challah rolls, crawfish rolls with apple slaw, ginger ale floats – crowded out the menu. Hand tie-dyed napkins. Conversation – the devil tearing out hearts through knee caps, existential crises, beard clippings, opera, Magnus jumping out of a cake as a chocolate King Kong, some good laughs. Etc. and etc.
The evening concluded at 9:30.