Hazardous Deeds

Friday, May 11, 2012

Puck woke at 6:14.
So OLeif decided it was time to re-caulk the tub.
When Collette checked in ten minutes later, there was caulking everywhere. But at least the tub was mended, which was a start in the right direction.

Meanwhile, Kate Middleton, the church secretary, had taken up with what was originally suspected a case of possible shingles. So Collette was filling in for the day. Fortunately, Kate had already printed most of the bulletin, and Collette was finished a fast four hours later.

Back on the ranch…
Puck had been escorted out to visit the kittens for the first time. One of them was getting fat.
A package had arrived for Linnea in the mail from one of her freebies…
“Yes! 3D glasses!”
This, on top of the packet labeled “Fireworks Club” sitting in Collette’s mailbox that evening, also addressed to Linnea.
Mom brought on a sandwich crimper/crust trimmer for Puck, who got busy helping her prepare lunch pockets for the others. There was also a pirate kite sitting on the kitchen counter. Puck raked it in. In return, he helped Carrie wrap Mom’s presents for Sunday.
“What are you making your mama for Mother’s Day?” Carrie had asked him.
Immediately, concern…
“Aah! I’m not a good maker, Sun! I have to buy her something!”
He then marched out to the kitchen to apologize to Collette.
Then outdoors, he was switch-hitting in the .300 range with Francis and Linnea while Collette prepared a giant stack of quesadillas for them, and Puck caught a ride on the Ruckus with Francis. Francis was turning it in soon, likely, for a Honda cruiser, which fell in more the motorcycle category. And Francis smashed Puck on the couch while Linnea flipped on “Andy Griffith”.
Carrie, meanwhile, was off to another meeting with Louis and Jonas to review blueprints, between rescuing more bunnies from the jaws of Snuggles. One of them sat in her lap and nearly dozed while she administered to its needs.
After Mom napped, she took Collette, Linnea (with Joe’s red road bike he had loaned her for the summer), and Puck up to the middle school to fly the pirate kite. After Puck had jogged his first quarter mile around the track, waiting for the kite to reach fully operational status, Collette advised a rest…
“I want to be a strong man, Mama!” he declared, two clenched fists raised into the air. “Mighty!”
He went no less than 3/4 of a mile before Collette stopped him again. Impressive, but she had brought no water. Plus, the kite was ready. They got it high-flying all the way to the end of the string.
“Aw, this is no good,” said Linnea after awhile. “We need to get it up to where we can’t see it, like in the old days. When our kites were a hazard to planes. That one didn’t come down for two days.”

Rose marched back in time for pizza.
“What are you doing here?” Francis welcomed her in the door.
“A bee flew into my moonroof while I was driving and landed between my legs.”
Francis went outside to check out the specimen, sticking his head back in the door a few minutes later…
“Carrie. Rose says – come save this bee.”
“A moth, two bunnies, and a bee. In one day…” Carrie tallied up the saves.
Then Rose returned to check out Linnea’s dress for the formal. The swish of fabric was too much for Francis to ignore…
“Sounds like she’s wearing a sleeping bag,” he grinned.
And Carrie was singing to the buns.

As OLeif pulled onto the highway that evening, he suddenly pulled over and reversed the car down the shoulder.
“What?” Collette asked.
“I saw something on the road.”
“Is it dead?”
“No.”
“Valuable?”
“No.”
They waited for a few minutes for traffic to die down; then OLeif slipped out the door and returned with a busted tape measurer…

Magnus and Rose were on the roster to enjoy fudge brownies, buttered popcorn, and the usual goofball slapstick over “Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House”.
“Don’t forget the artwork you’re going to do for me,” Rose reminded Magnus when things got a little dull.
Magnus pondered this for a few moments…
“You want, like, an Arab on a horse or something?”
“Yeah… I need some color in it though…”
“We’ll put a British flag on the horse.”
Given that it was the first movie night sans Joe, Magnus filled in nicely for him…
“Oh, wait. I’ve got to be Joe,” he interrupted, rear-end taunting OLeif in proper Joe fashion.
There was trouble on the western front. Carrie texted in later in the evening. Apparently the bunnies had wreaked havoc in her closet after someone had forgotten to shut the door…
“Sorry…” Rose had texted back.
“Tell that to my leather boots,” came the response.
“I wonder which one started it and got the others to follow,” Magnus laughed.
Probably Earnest.
Blankets were distributed as necessary.
Somewhere in the film, when Mrs. Blandings was listing paint colors for the walls…
“Did she just say ‘daffodil butts’?” Rose asked. “She just said daffodil butts!”
She didn’t.
When 1948 had wrapped up, the game switched back on… and it was an ugly encounter. Collette and Magnus were easily involved in the various ridiculous pitches and plays. OLeif and Rose, however, were not as… invested.
“They should just have a bat throwing contest to decide the end,” Rose suggested.
“Did I hear you right?,” OLeif replied. “Have the pitchers fist fight for the win? That’s a great idea.”
They finally gave up at the top of the miserable 12th.
O, the shame.