January 31
Sunday, January 31, 2010
On the last day of January, Puck was busy at breakfast with his stuffed donkey and a slice of buttered toast.
“He’s like a bouncing ball wiff himself!” he declared, delightedly, tossing him up and down.
Before the meal, Carrie received a random text message.
“I just got a text from a guy asking me out — a 50+ South American who I met once six months ago at Starbucks. I didn’t even give him my number. He must have gotten it from Crazy Mike.”
If it would happen to anyone, it would be Carrie. How many proposals had she received from foreigners over the years?
The topic of discussion at lunch that day was Great Grandpa Combs.
“Wasn’t he the veiled prophet?” Carrie asked.
“No,” said Mom. “He was the worshipful master.”
“He was the guy who clipped his fingernails in church, right?”
“And how long was his funeral procession?”
“Over a mile,” said Mom. “He died when I was in the third grade.”
“I sat next to an autistic man today,” said Carrie.
“How do you know he was autistic?” Rose asked.
“Because he was rocking back and forth during the service.”
“How do you know that wasn’t his way of worshiping?”
“Wow, an optimistic comment from Rose,” said Joe.
“The world must be ending,” said Francis.
“The bad kid was at church today,” said Carrie. “He was being pretty good today. And then I heard a loud thump. And then thump, thump, thump, thump, thump! And then his dad took him out, and the usual screaming.”
“Yeah, his dad just lifted him right over the pew,” said Rose. “Because he’s a construction worker.”
“What?”
“He’s a construction worker, so he’s ripped.”
“So he’s strong enough to pick up a kid?”
“He’s so powerful, he can lift a new born baby!” Joe bellowed. “Dude, you’re wearing my shirt!”
“That’s because I’ve lost all my clothes,” said Francis.
“What happened to all the nice clothes Carrie and I got for you?” Collette asked him for the dozenth time. “It’s getting worse and worse every Sunday. Where’s that vest?”
“Sadly, that has not been lost yet,” said Francis.
“I’m going to start wearing a t-shirt that says, ‘I’m a Strapping Young Man’,” said Joe. “And I’ll put suspenders over it and walk around holding them out like this.”
“I did a celebrity look-a-like thing for Rose,” said Carrie. “I uploaded a picture of her to this site, and it came back saying that she looked like all these Asian males.”
Rose wrinkled her nose at this.
When Puck woke from his nap, he rummaged in his toy drawer and pulled out a beaded bracelet.
“Look at this!” he cried., slipping it on his wrist “I got a new Indian. It fits on my brain! No tea for me, Sun. That will make me be dirty.”
Meanwhile…
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Rose purchased a ticket to see The Planets at the Symphony on March 5th.
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Mom, Dad, OLeif, and Francis left to attend the Mexico youth mission trip meeting at church. (Although Francis managed to skip the meeting by instead restoring the green van to its original vigor after the battery had, once again, died on the church parking lot.)
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Carrie and Puck went hunting for pirate treasure in the floor vent with a mirror and tiny red flashlight.
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And Collette consumed an unholy amount of Hershey’s chocolate kisses. Another vile penchant.
And the evening ended with another pomegranate juice and a viewing of the third BBC installment of Emma.