July 25
Sunday, July 25, 2010
A final Sunday in July. Already.
And Rose had lost her wallet over the weekend. With Dad’s credit card.
Francis had worked the nursery for the early service and was handed over a crying Hesed who fell asleep shortly later in his arms.
Meanwhile, Linnea-Irish had enjoyed the Murder Mystery Dinner. She had solved the crime and was awarded with a long-time-wanted Dangerous Book for Boys.
Back at the house, the usual conversations…
“I can’t wait till Joe gets back,” said Francis. “And then all of this quiet will be gone.”
“Francis is going to ride the horsies with the youth today,” said Dad.
“He said he wasn’t going to,” said Collette.
“He said he was afraid of the horsies,” said OLeif.
“I am,” said Francis. “Maybe they have a pony. I would like to ride a pony… Did you know there was a guy who weighed 1,079 pounds? His pants were huge!”
“Dad shot one of his friends in the eye with a BB gun once.”
“Yeah,” said Dad. “He was wearing glasses. I figured it wouldn’t do anything to him. But the glass broke. He was fine though.”
“Uncle Mo shot me in the finger with a BB gun once,” said Mom.
“Well, you whacked him with your yo-yo once,” said Dad.
“Well, I was provoked. I hit him as hard as I could. We were pretty brutal.”
“Kitts shot me in the back with a sling-shot once,” said OLeif.
“Wally almost blew off Joe’s head once with a gun he didn’t know was loaded.”
“I once accidentally stabbed a boy in my class with a lead pencil,” said Mom. “When they still put lead in those things. I thought sure I had killed him.”
“Joe gives me ‘dead-legs’ sometimes,” said Francis.
“Have you ever gotten ants?” asked Dad.
“I did that to OLeif once,” said Collette. “It worked.”
All the boys started rubbing the hair on their arms, trying to make ants.
“Ever have an Indian rug burn?” Dad asked.
“Oh. Yeah,” said Francis with a giggle.
Carrie and Rose returned from church after dropping by Wells Fargo to check Rose’s desk for her wallet.
“It was there,” she said. “Sometimes I throw my purse under my desk. It must have bounced out.”
“You know, you’re fortunate none of the janitors took it,” said Dad.
“No. They like me,” said Rose. “I keep my desk clean.”
Meanwhile, with shredded barbecue chicken sandwiches for lunch, conversation continued…
“Yes,” Mom was saying about some old friend from their first church, “that was the first question the guy asked her when they met, ‘What church do you go to?’”
“Collette’s first question she asked me was, ‘Who’s your doctor?’” OLeif joked.
“Who. Who. Get it?” Dad chuckled.
“Yes, Dad,” said Carrie. “No, for Collette it’s more like, ‘Do you shop at Wal-Mart?’ Uh huh. This isn’t going to work out…”
“That’s right,” said OLeif. “’Which grocery store do you shop at?”
“Or, said Mom, “’Do you check expiration dates on all your food?’”
And then later…
“That rock formation out west,” Rose was saying. “Is it called the Devil’s Butt? Or the Devil’s Tower?”
“No, no, definitely not the Butt. How you can confuse those two… I don’t really know…”
“Francis!” Carrie bellowed, knocking on the hall bath. “You’re not allowed in there! Get out!”
During the usual Sunday-afternoon congregation in the living room…
“Everyone hop on Uncle Francis, and we will fly up into the sky!” Puck exclaimed, wrestling his uncle on the floor.
“Could you give us a speech, Puck?” Carrie asked.
“The first thing that we will do is praying,” Puck replied. “Let me go get my table so that we can be praying.”
Puck hurried to the hall bath to retrieve the tiny table, a.k.a. his podium…
“We will do something today,” he said. “And dah patience. One more! Do somethin’ today and go! Ladies and gentlemen, do somethin’. It’s time for clapping. Ladies and gentlemen, do somethin’. You have to spin. Dat’s dah rule.”
Later, Puck whipped out a pair of toddler scissors.
“Guess you don’t want him trimming S-N-U-G-G-L-E-S’ hair, do you?” asked Rose, rather hopeful for some mischief it seemed.
“I cut Linnea’s hair when we were little,” said Francis.
“Yeah,” said Rose. “Joe cut my hair when we were kids too. That’s why this ear is deformed.”
Then Puck came pounding up the stairs wrapped in Joe’s comforter as a ‘ghostie’.
“Rose,” said Carrie, “remember the good old days when we had that big Oriental carpet in the basement and I rolled you up in it and left you there?”
“Yes.”
“It was great. She annoyed me and I rolled her up.”
“Rose has counseling sessions in her 30’s,” said OLeif. “’When I was a burrito…’”
“And sometimes I would put her up in the tree house, tell her I saw a snake, and run. It was just because I thought it was so cute when she cried and then I could comfort her. I’m good at comforting people,” Carrie said with a laugh.
And Puck shared some of Rose’s yogurt-covered raisins before Collette, Rose, and Linnea split for the shop.
Jeans were in high order for OLeif. After months of half-hearted search, Collette finally found his size in the semi-correct cut.
A few Native-American and Art Deco tops for the older girls, a red Macintosh candle, and a silk orange-violet dress for Linnea later… and the brief shopping tour was ended.
Back to the house where Puck was running around with sunnies and Linnea’s gold headband which Rose later put over her eyes to act as Geordi.
And Dad and Mom were off to bring back the pizzas. With Doctor Who Season One.