Kings of the Sun
Friday, January 13, 2012
Well, the snow had almost stopped. But that didn’t end the 17 degree leave-taking temperature of the morning.
Rose’s car was still in the driveway. Due to the condition of the road, she had traded and taken Dad’s car to work instead, to avoid a stick on the ice. Francis was also at work, although Joe seemed to have been given the day off, due to the repercussions of the weather. Carrie’s room was progressing. The floor had been papered and glued in such a way as to resemble a fashion of leatherish marble, still to be stained and polyurethaned. Dad left for his jog on the Katy Trail… It was a little warmer after all. 18 degrees. And Mom and Carrie got busy with the stain and a sheep’s wool applicator. Between sessions of school and catching up on the news of the mid-week, Linnea and Puck shared a back of pretzel sticks and pondered life in their respective manners.
Target was necessary for the morning. Collette had a small gift to purchase for the realtor who had examined their house the previous month. And Carrie had to finish the bunny room with accessories. Therefore, two hours of copper-caged bulbs (like something out of a dream near a barn in a misty apocalyptic night in the hills), gauzy curtain panels, two packs of La Croix, two loaves of bread, and a large package of bunny hay later… the deed was done. And Collette departed with a package of Ferrero Rocher, two sleeves of Stax potato chips for the night, and white-out.
As the lunch hour concluded, Linnea froze a snowball in the freezer. And algebra commenced; two days’ worth. Dad questioned Puck on his future…
“I’m going to live with Mama forever. And I will get married.”
“Well, you can’t live with your mama if you’re married,” Dad laughed.
“I will bring her and Dad with me.”
“Well, you can do that…”
“And I will marry Anneliese.”
“So why do you want to marry Anneliese?”
“Because she’s my friend. Who was your best friend in Sunday School, Grandpa?”
“Grandpa didn’t have any friends,” Carrie cut in.
Dad laughed…
“You’re right. I was a mean little boy.”
Puck just grinned at the joke, “No, you weren’t.”
He had also confirmed earlier that he was going to have two children…
“Well, three… Because of my baby brother.”
Meanwhile, as Mom and Dad napped, Puck amused himself with puzzles and Joe was busy go-carting in the ice while Collette continued mathematical endeavors with the kids with Francis flying the helicopter and Linnea snuggling Ketseh. Francis breaked to squeal some tires on the ice. Puck helped Carrie clean out the drawers of her dresser and distribute treasure to Linnea. This included the once-coveted The Bravery drumstick from those long six years ago… And, of course, Francis and Linnea arguing about transportation to the swing dance Saturday night.
With the arrival of the dinner hour, the weekend was approaching. Linnea was leaving to spend the night at Gretyl’s.
Even in the bitterness of the night, the kids still trekked out for the Friday tradition. This time, Collette offered more fried donuts, which ended up being liked after all. At least they got fed. And it was accompanied by a very first viewing of Yul Brynner in Kings of the Sun. A horrible, horrible non-epic catastrophe inciting rich fodder for ridicule…
“What is he wearing? A… belly shirt?”
“I just had three loaves of bread. That is why my stomach is so poofy.”
“Let us visit… the Waffle House!”
A short distance into this cheap-extras-jaguar-skinned-plastic-green-stone-vest comedy…
“Stop shaking my chair, Joe! Stop it!”
Water spilled. Even more was splashed on Joe in return.
“See? Earthquakes always cause tsunamis,” Rose informed him.
Then, feeling guilty, she tossed him a blanket.
“Sorry about that. But you still shouldn’t have done it.”
“Now I’ll get a cold and die,” Joe whined.
“That only happens in Pride & Prejudice,” Magnus laughed.
Fake crying, groaning…
“’We’re gonna need more leeches!’” Magnus groaned.
“Yeah, but this time the role’s reversed. Some babe on a horse rescues me and brings me to the door…”
About this time, Joe trumpeted out some mystic Star Wars music in an attempt to use The Force to siphon a donut hole from the coffee table.
“Is he still wearing that shirt? ‘It’s my favorite shirt from pre-school!’”
“All kings wore them,” Rose announced. “That’s why Richard the Third was called Fatty.”
“Did you just pull out a random king’s name?”
“Well, there was a Richard III.”
“You mean Fatty Fat Fat Fatty McFatty Pants Pants Fatty Pants?” said OLeif.
And with the ongoing presence of way too many half-naked men…
“Wow,” said OLeif. “That is quite a pose. I bet he had a poster of that in his house.”
“What’s he doin’, struttin’ and stuff?” Rose asked.
And when the black-haired Mayan lady entered the room…
“’Hey, you’re pretty hot…’”
“’Basically my friends and I made a scale of 1 to 12, and, yeah, you’re pretty hot.’”
“’Yeah, you’re the hottest.’”
“Hey, notice that feather he’s wearing?” asked OLeif.
“Yeah…”
“He’s wearing it, ’cause he’s the chick hunter… Get it?”
Groans…
“And he’s a monogamist,” added Magnus. “’Cause he only has one feather.”
“At a time.”
As the feathery cape of death, obviously composed of materials found only at your local Michael’s craft store, was presented to Yul Brynner by the woman before his imminent sacrifice…
“’Why am I being give this? I do not wear clothes.’”
“’We will have thousands of babies. Every single day.’”
“’So many babies. And you will be my only wife. Wait, wait, wait…’”
“’You don’t even know about feelings. Look at that sunset. So untamed! It’s unnatural! Supernova!”
When the natives began scattering about some corn or something to a reel of Aaron Copelandesque tunes…
“Inca hoe-down!” Joe exclaimed.
And the children at work on their little looms…
“’Babies!’”
“’So many babies.’”
A lot of fake crying from Joe and Magnus…
And this time there was no slimy subterranean slug sitting smugly on the cement as they adjourned up the stairs. Magnus had disposed of it into the much warmer evening on an envelope the previous week.