Linnea Libero

Friday, August 26, 2011
In which volleyball and the O-Zone are addressed…

At breakfast, Puck stared at the irregular occasional plaster bump on the wall.
“Look at all the ant hills on the walls!”
“I’m not sure that’s what they are…”
“They are. They’re ant criminals.”

At 8:07 that morning, Puck’s sixth baby girl second-cousin was born.
7 pounds, 13 ounces, 20 inches long, and a full head of hair. Heathers Snicketts.

In the afternoon, Collette and Puck departed for the house to tack-a-ride out to Linnea’s next volleyball game in Florissant.
“Trooper’s in Heaven, Sun,” Puck told Carrie seriously, after Carrie had threatened several times to squish his belly.
“Oh? Well, do cats go to Heaven?”
“Yup.”
“Bunnies?”
“Yup.”
“Squirrels?”
“Yup.”
“Spiders?”
“Yup.”
“Oh, my! Well, what about mosquitoes?”
[Pause.]
“Well, no, they stay dead on the ground, because they are bad and would bite people in Heaven.”
Meanwhile, Rose had written up a stair-walking chart on the basement door for Pumpkin, who was in grave need of exercise. Participants were to place a ‘tick mark’ on the day in which they had forced Pumpkin in a stair-run. And, indeed, Linnea-drawn sketches of ticks were already penned in on the chart.

The van departed at 3:30: Dad, Mom, Collette, Puck, Joe, and Linnea, all gear and giant water jug included.
When they entered the gym at North County Christian School: sweat house.
Shortly later, Grandma Combs arrived with a Walgreen’s package of mint slice candies for everyone to share. And Puck managed to escape under the ancient wood bleachers — which smelled very much like a refurbished 1800’s village — and found a bounce-able red foam ball, which became his new prize of the evening.

By the time five o’clock rolled in, things were really heating up, and fortunately the thirty-five minutes of two games passed quickly. Linnea was great, as anticipated: neon pink knee-socks, black jersey, just like all the other girls. And, as any proud sister could boast, she saved the team numerous times with her… whatever kind of hits or pop-ups, or whatever it was they did… cheered on by the crowd and her two teenage male coaches… which seemed just a little… odd… After their match, the girls followed their second coach out to the soccer field to watch him play his own game, until it was time to leave.

Back home for movie night: the whole Magnificent Seven. And the usual triple-decker feast of two boxes of vari-flavored Cheez-Its (including Smoked Cheddar), Italian Ices, ice cream sandwiches, and ginger ale. They were ready to rock and roll with OLeif’s selection, another full-fledged laugh: Canada’s premier Australian: Arctic Blast. They Mystery Science Theatered that monstrosity into the ground, including ethereal musical selections by Joe and Magnus, Bing in facetious awe over the adrenaline-pumping soundtrack, and a full spread of the peanut gallery. The times there ought to have been a camera rolling somewhere…
“I smell… O-Zone!”
“We are going to nuke… Weather!”
“I am the President of… Weather!”
“Attack… Weather!”

Subscribe to Book of Collette

Sign up now to get access to the library of members-only issues.
Jamie Larson
Subscribe