Mentors, Mathematics, & Middling Mantles

Wednesday, December 7, 2011
In which Puck receives moderately new articles of clothing and more work is accomplished by various parties…

On an ordinary early winter day in December, the little family of Silverspoon bundled up against the elements, ski coats for Collette and Puck and a thin fleece for OLeif, and drove off into the sunrise for another day of interest and intrigue.
The snow had departed, leaving only that proverbial dusting, or as Puck had described it: “It didn’t snow a single drop!”
In Puck’s possession that morning was a duffle bag packed with goodies for his Rose. Collette had found him contemplating his closet the previous afternoon.
“Mama,” he said thoughtfully, “I want to give Rose all those hangers. She needs them.”
And so he had packed them carefully for their journey to be made the following morning.

Back on the ranch, Francis and Linnea were discussing the mentor-mentee program at choir, in which Linnea was mentored by German’s younger sister, and Francis had been intended as a mentor, but had forgotten…
“It’s weird,” Francis complained. “I’m supposed to give him a Christmas ornament and write him a poem. I only know ‘Roses are red’.”
“Write him a haiku,” Collette suggested. “Easiest poem ever.”
“Well, at least I’m not like those two basses who wrote each other love notes. And I’m not going to give him an ornament. That’s just ridiculous.”
“Hang a candy bar from a string. That counts.”
Linnea, meanwhile, cream-cheesing her breakfast toasts, had plans of a gift card to World Market for her mentor.
“Choir is getting weird anyway,” said Francis. “Our choir director started playing Would your Rather with all of us, so she started asking if we’d rather have waffles or noodles. And stuff like that.”
Meanwhile, Earnest made his appearance for the morning.
“So what has he been up to?” Collette asked asked, rubbing him between the ears.
“Oh, tearing up my Matt Bellamy poster,” Carrie grinned.
The certain sign of a mother.
“You’d have been livid before,” Collette noted.
“Just shows he has good taste,” Carrie replied, snuggling him.
There was a belated gift for Carrie. Puck handed her the brown paper package: a silk sari from Australia.
And there was a small disturbance from the living room where Mom was attempting to work the DVD player for Puck’s early Christmas present from the family involving episodes of The Berenstain Bears.
“Don’t sit on my blanket, Francis,” Linnea warned. “It’s clean.”
“It’s OK.”
“Mom! He just contaminated my blanket!”
Dad was called up from the basement to fix the DVD player…
“He’s magic. He can fix anything,” said Mom.
“What?” Dad said, looking over the controls. “Why is the… why won’t it…”
“Well, good thing we called the wizard up,” Francis teased.
In the end: success.
“Am I the wizard?” Dad asked Mom.
“You are a remarkable man.”
Francis was leaving for work; the first departure of the morning.
“Have a good day,” Mom waved him off. “Be a good little monster.”
Joe followed almost immediately, with the green slug thundering down the road just behind the put-put Fit. The entourage had departed.
And Carrie had cut all of the returning green out of her hair.

The rest of the day was a blur of shopping for a second-hand Nike winter coat and snow pants for Puck, math with Linnea, the boys returning from work, Carrie meeting with lawyers to discuss international business paperwork before meeting Lucia at Rose’s apartment and picking up a sack of essentially free Victoria’s Secret sweatshirts…
Burgers for lunch. Puck was not keen on the coagulated fat that had not been peeled away from the perimeter…
“Too much squish, Mama!”
“He’s just like Calvin,” Linnea laughed. “Just pretend it’s brains,” she advised.
Puck then practiced a little reverse psychology on Francis, who had been knocking his foot against the pre-WWII Japanese doll teapot on the coffee table…
“Go ahead and turn it over, Uncle Francis. It won’t break.”
Joe walked into the dining room, tapping Linnea on the head, as he tore into another turkey leg that Carrie had prepared.
“What kind of turkey is that?” Collette asked.
“Heaven.”
The cats watched eagerly from the table, waiting for their share of the meat.
A pile of cuties were shared.
Mom prepared her decorations for the table she was hosting at the women’s tea with Linnea on Thursday night.
And Puck had his share of time sitting in the corner during the afternoon…
“I’m thinking about all the bad things that I did, Mama,” he said. “I thought it in a secret way.”

By the time 6:15 arrived, Carrie had returned for another Skype to Malaysia with Lucia, and OLeif had come to pick up Collette and Puck. Puck put on his, for all intensive purposes, ‘new’ coat. Dad read the label on it…
“Is your name Nike?” Dad asked.
“No!” Puck giggled.
“What is Nike?”
“It’s a country, I think.”
And Francis was gathering his guts to attend a White Elephant gift exchange at a foreign youth group. One would think he had never participated in such an event…
“Find me something to bring, Collette.”
A look inside the toy closet and Collette tossed him a stuffed green octopus.
“Really? It’s OK to bring this?”
“Sure.”
“Could you wrap it?”
Collette handed him a white paper bag…
“Duct-tape it.”

Back home, after a stop for Christmas tree lights, coffee, and Reeses peanut butter cups, OLeif and Puck told a bedtime story together…
“’Geoffrey the Giraffe was a young giraffe who lived in an intergalactic house that was as big as planet Earth. He lived with his mom, dad, and grandfather in room number 6342 ½. All the animals on Earth decided to leave to find a new planet in a galaxy they heard about called Barrel-la-Baron. Geoffrey and his friends, Liam the Giraffe and Dan the Elephant, went on an adventure. But before they started they wanted to play racquet ball, but they had never played, so they didn’t own any racquets. Dan decided to use his trunk and Liam decided to use his hoof. Liam lost because a trunk is a much better racquet ball racquet. While they were waiting, Geoffrey went around the corner and found his church, which was a giant water fountain watering hole (a big drinking fountain), with enough spouts for everyone in the church. In the next adventure they plan on building a car to get around the house faster.’ Of course,” OLeif added. “Most of the story was spent with Puck saying things like, ‘No, no! It’s a house as big as the world with so many bathrooms you cannot even count them!’”