Ribs, Orcs, Etc.

Friday, December 2, 2011
In which everything happens as usual…

Collette was feeling that forgotten tell-tale initiative of a sore throat/cold combo coming on. It had been awhile. She prescribed herself apple cider vinegar, which seemed to work moderately well.

Seven o’clock drop-off, and things were getting hopping already…
OLeif was preparing for his final that night around work and class.
Elodie-Rose was off for work and to pick up her apartment key over lunch.
Joe was out the door shortly after to Jefferson City for a final work meeting of the year.
Mom and Dad were leaving for four days in Branson.
Francis was headed out for a shift at the Y, lunch with Henri, and then a possible second shift till nine.
But there was some time to catch up with Mom and Carrie-Bri, who was a little wiped-out from everything…
“I talked with Wally Sr. for about twenty minutes last night,” said Mom. “Asking safety tips for Rose. He said one of the things people have been doing in Forest Park lately is running into someone’s car, and when they get out of it, hi-jacking the other car.”
It was comical to envision Rose in such a situation, really…
“They get inside and they realize it’s a stick.”
“Rose yells after them, ‘Joke’s on you!’, as they bunny-hop down the road.”
Lucia had been over the previous evening for more business-related meetings.
“So Francis was hiding from her because she had been chasing him around trying to give him a hug all evening,” said Carrie. “So then she hid in the corner there and when he came out of the bathroom, she tackled him. He let out the weirdest ‘Ooof!’ we’d ever heard. And there was all this scuffling with him trying to break free. It was hilarious.”
Meanwhile, Mom had been admonishing Linnea-Irish for something in the other room. Puck, of course, felt the need to interject his two cents’ worth…
“Grandma. As a punishment, I let Linnea play with my Squinkies.”
Carrie arrived with Earnest wrapped up in her black kimono…
“This little bun-bun took a chomp out of Pumpkin yesterday.”
And Puck let inside the fat black cat from the garage…
“Don’t worry, Pumpkin. Don’t worry. I’m not chasing you.”
Linnea wandered into the kitchen looking for breakfast as Puck arranged his selection of toys on the table…
“Are you in the mood to play with me, Lila?” he asked, business-like.
Linnea joined him with a bagel and cream cheese.
Collette reviewed her documents and some of Carrie’s while Carrie gave Bonnie a trim. Earnest thus felt the need to attract some attention and began nibbling on the live greenery on the hearth.
Puck snacked on a chocolate cupcake crowned in cream cheese frosting and red sprinkles, housed in a shiny silver wrapper, in the middle morning.
Linnea was busy painting a sign that read: ‘Hot Koolaid’.
News about Aunt Petunia being in ICU for two days – sometimes family information somehow didn’t transfer immediately down the lines.
And Collette unearthed a list of their names translated into Hawai’ian:

Dad: Loke
Mom: Linaka
OLeif: Lakopa
Collette: Lala
Carrie-Bri: Hali
Joe: Analu/Anaki
Elodie-Rose: Elena
Francis: Kaniela/Kana
Linnea-Irish: Lukia
Puck: Aukukuko/Kuko

Into the afternoon, Collette dropped Linnea off at the Renaud Center for more volleyball.
Carrie had an appointment at 3:30. Her ribs were on the move. And as it turned out, she was finally diagnosed with a high impact injury. All those Tae Kwon Do and Kuk Sool Won days, kicked and tossed and thrown. The ‘floating rib’ as they called it.
“I usually only see this kind of injury in 300 pound football players,” said Dr. Moon.
He prescribed a medical corset as the first option for healing.
Six Victoria’s Secret gift cards worth $300 in the mail helped soothe the pain, upon return.
A pick up of Linnea. While they waited in the parking lot, Carrie introduced Puck to the world of driving a car. Puck was feeling hugely important to sit in the driver’s seat pulled all the way back, ready to take off, until he realized that he couldn’t reach the pedals. He was appeased with the option of opening the garage door with the remote control.
And ice cream dinner.
The rest of the kids had returned from work, including Steak ‘n Shake for Francis with Henri and Creole.
Rose emerged from her room holding Earnest out to Carrie at arms’-length…
“Your bad bunny was nibbling at my pants!”
“Oh!” Carrie exclaimed, taking the fluffy bundle. “Such a hard worker you are!”
Other possibilities for Carrie’s injury were being discussed…
“Maybe when she fell down the stairs…” Rose suggested.
“When did she fall down the stairs?”
“Well, everyone’s fallen down the stairs before.”
“I haven’t.”
“Well, I have. But it wasn’t my fault. Once, my socks were too big. And another time I had a glass of chocolate milk in my hand and I fell down the stairs and didn’t spill a drop.”

OLeif arrived to escort them home after helping Francis move Rose’s cabinet from her room. Puck helped guide them out…
“A little to the left. A little to the left!”
“Dad,” said Puck seriously from the back seat, “One day I will pay for you to live with me. I will take care of you. And I will have enough money for you to come. And Mama too. And then when you die, I will have my own family.”
“I hope you have your own family before we die,” Collette told him.
“Yeah. But guess what? God would take care of you in Heaven. And there will be six little kids. Me and Gally and Smacker and Fetch Boy… And they will be adopted and we will take care of them.”

At seven, the kids arrived for movie night, Joe in LED flip-flops, thermals, sweatshirt tucked into sports shorts, and black Russian hat.
The Two Towers, which included half an apple pie from The Brown Shoe Company amongst other things…
“That’s kind of gross,” said Magnus. “Little hairs and bite marks…”
“Like a close-up in Spongebob?” OLeif asked.
“Yeah.”
With the beginning review of Gandalf’s fall, it was already beginning with Magnus and Joe exuding what could only be expected…
“Frolic, you fools!”
Club music and orc chants came next at Isengard.
“Man, Wally would make the worst elf ever.”
“Yeah. He’d pull out an arrow and end up killing all the elves behind him instead.”
“Ooh, that eye,” said Rose. “There’s a Visine for that. Hmmm… I wonder if orcs are eco-friendly.”
Magnus’ interpretation of Aragorn…
“Myeahmyeahmyeah… I write poetry.”
Music had been pumping from upstairs in the office…
“What’s going on up there?”
“Puck couldn’t fall asleep,” OLeif explained. “So I gave him a rave.”
“Bad guys always have it better,” said Rose.
“Yeah, Rose as a bad guy. Evil overlord.”
“Attack cats! Cats! Attack!”
OLeif’s interpretation of Gandalf…
“When the darkness took me, I was like, ‘No way, dude.’”
“That’s a naughty horsey!” Joe said, for some reason.
The strains of violin from the hilltop…
“Fiddler on the Roof.”
“Yeah, they left him.”
“Good riddance. Let him play for the old people. ‘Oh, that’s nice.’”
Joe’s interpretation of Aragorn’s horse…
“Ride? Ride? Ride. Ride. Ride. View. View. View. Friends? Friends? No? Bad. Bad. Bad.”
A little heavy metal by the boys in Isengard…
“Sarumon!”
“Aragorn!”
And somewhere around eleven, the film concluded.