Scare Tactics
Collette and Puck arrived on the scene that morning and were greeted by Frances with the following:
“We got in trouble with the police yesterday,” Frances grinned all silly.
“What?”
“Well, we didn’t really get in trouble. We were shooting off my compression gun at Creole’s. Nacchianti, Creole, and I. We were shooting rubber ducks and one landed on the deck of the angry neighbor’s house. I guess they called the police because they didn’t like it. So when the policeman came, we started running, andNacchianti said, ‘Get back over here’. So we did, and the policeman said, ‘What are you shooting out of that gun?’ And I didn’t think he’d believe me, but I said, ‘Um, rubber ducks wrapped in tin foil’. But it was okay. He didn’t mind.”
Frances laughed. Another successful launching of the poor rubber ducks who were likely eager to return to China from whence they came before being launched once again, high into the atmosphere.
Puck, meanwhile, was still captivated with the novelty of the Christmas tree and other things Christmas.
“Do you like Christmas, Puck?” Collette asked him.
“Yeah!” Squeaked the chubby Puck, hardly knowing what he had just said.
Rose laughed. “He beat up a gorilla in my room. He ate it!”
The early afternoon was reserved for a run to Costco which resulted in a cart of groceries so heavy, it needed a running start to get through the door. On the way back, Collette and Carrie-Bri reminisced:
“Remember that book about mummies we used to get from the library?” Carrie said. “We’d always scare ourselves with the pictures of the screaming mummy.”
“Oh, yeah. That was pretty creepy.”
“Why, girls, I thought I tried to prevent you from seeing scary things.”
“Oh, we just liked to scare ourselves sometimes, Mom,” Collette said.
“Yeah, like the time Bing English and I would take turns locking each other in the closet and scraping our fingernails on the door.”
“Or, when Diana and I would stand at the end of the long hall in the English’s old basement, turn off all the lights, open the storage room door at the end of the hall, throw a blanket over our heads, and run screaming down the hall and slide into the storage room. We’d scare ourselves so bad, we couldn’t move.”
“And the time Felicity and I were jumping on her trampoline screaming bloody murder because there was a harvest moon and we thought it was the end of the world.”
“I tried to explain that to you,” said Collette.
“Yeah, but we didn’t believe you. So finally Mrs. Octagon explained it to us, and we were okay.”
“You kids…” laughed Mom. “Like Frances and Creole with the rubber ducks yesterday. One day these stories will be funny. If they ever give toasts at each other’s weddings: ‘Remember, Frances, the time we shot off rubber ducks from your potato gun and the police came?'”
“Mom!” Carrie explained. “Everything goes back to weddings for you. Everything!”
“I just don’t want my kids to ever be lonely,” Mom protested. “I want them to be happy… That doesn’t mean you have to get married.”
“Sure, Mom, sure.”
There was something collectively satisfying about watching an amature play during the holiday season. This time it was “A Christmas Carol” again. People there from the old choir days. Just a few. And despite the initial technical difficulties of the first evening of the production, the rest of the play was successful. No stumbles, no forgotten lines. Complete with puffing smoke machines. Afterward:
“Mom, we’re off to the after party at de club,” said Joe.
“But you weren’t in the play!” Mom laughed.
Nevertheless, Joe, Curly, and Rose were off for the fun. Mom returned Collette, Frances, and Linnea to the house.
“Dairy Queen! Dairy Queen! Dairy Queen!” Frances and Linnea chanted, despite the frigid temperatures.
“I don’t think so…” said Mom.
“Oh, come on, Mom, we need something special,” grinned Frances.
“I don’t think…”
“Special!”
“Now, guys…”
“Special!”
“Not…”
“Special!”
By this time, the peanut gallery was in stitches and laughing uproariously. Dairy Queen approached on the horizon.
“A deer in the road, Mom! Swerve right!” Linnea exclaimed.
“Nice try, Linnea,” Mom laughed, as they thundered past the DQ.
Linnea giggled. There was consolation, however. Pretzels and hot chocolate awaited at home. But Collette took off. It was after ten, and the sleepy OLeif was slumbering in dreamland already.