So Long, Kid

I woke a couple of times in the night, thinking it was just a bad dream. Maybe it was just one more crazy dream in the nightly deck.

But it wasn’t.

Oscar Taveras was still dead.

It’s hard to describe that feeling – the feeling St. Louis seems to inexplicably mutually share – that Cardinals are brothers, sons, cousins, kids. They feel like family. So when Oscar died in a terrible car crash Sunday afternoon, it wasn’t surprising that thousands of shattered fans responded the way they did. Because as far as they knew, they weren’t just fans – they were family.

Linnea-Irish and I found two little potted flowers – red of course – at Trader Joe’s early that morning. It wasn’t much, but Linnea wrapped one of the NLDS rally towels around the baby roses.

Mom drove us downtown – Carrie too – to a Busch Stadium that was quiet but for off-season construction repairs. A few fans filtered past the memorial already collecting mementos below Stan the Man. Ball caps, t-shirts, photographs, baseballs, candles. We added the flowers. Carrie watered them to counter the rising heat of a day set to reach well into the 80s.

Twenty-two years old.

“The next Albert Pujols.”

I guess no one knew what to say or do yet.

Back at the Big House, I took a break. I guess you could call it podcast-research too; no one likes creating tributes for young kids. Reading up on the countless articles, comments, and quotes about Oscar just about anywhere you looked.

Then it was two o’clock and almost time to leave to pick up Puck. I walked out the door while Carrie poured beeswax candles in the kitchen.

Puck, still oblivious to things like this, hustled out to the car tossing his lunchbox into the air and – sort of – catching it.

We stopped by Dierbergs for groceries. I think I was a little more dazed than I realized, walking the aisles for organic fruits and vegetables. Puck asked for two mini pumpkins.

“I like your birds shirt,” the bagger grinned and pointed to my Berkman t-shirt.

Puck finished writing the final draft of his book report on magnets just after Sicilian sandwiches, fresh raspberries, and cold blackberry Izzes for dinner. Then out with friends in the early gusty twilight of a sad October evening, wild rolling leaves, kids laughing, running, Crackers watching it all through open windows.

I was reminded three years ago today … Cardinal Nation being in a very different place … sometimes it’s better to remember.