Sometimes I Get a Little Bored
Puck stared at the car window as we flew down the road from school.
“There’s a bug hanging on for dear life out there, Mom. Roll down the window so he’ll fly away.”
A few minutes more of driving did not rectify the situation.
“He’s still there.”
“Yup. He has really grip. I think he has suction cups on the end. Here, I’ll throw my ball at it.” He stopped himself from chucking his new red kickball out the window just in time, and chuckled at himself. “Oops. I guess that would be a bad idea.”
Later, he asked me to switch on his Second Grade Pump-Up songs. About ten minutes later, I looked in the rearview mirror. His body was hunched over in a weird contortion.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
Finally, when he hopped out of the car in the driveway, he explained. “I was getting a little bored, so I made a challenge for myself. I put my body in a very uncomfortable position and then tried to hold it the whole way back.”
Puck and I had a little time back at the Big House before his yearly doctor’s check-up. This meant a reheated hot dog on a paper plate in the living room while Mom read more “Boxcar Children” to him. He browsed the loveseat cushions while he listened; in the process, he recovered the long lost Honda Fit key.
“I think there’s a reward out for that,” Carrie reminded Dad.
Dad walked into his room and returned with a stack of bills. “Finders fee,” he explained, handing over eight dollars to the big man.
“You saved me about two hundred bucks, Puck.”
Puck was nearly shocked with so much wealth.
Oxbear drove back home just in time to scoop up Puck for his yearly doctor’s check-up while I stayed behind to scribble up more adoption forms and letters. Around seven, I placed a call to see how things were going.
“So how’d he do?”
“Well, he has scoliosis. And he has something in his lungs to get checked out … and he shrunk four inches.”
I could hear yelling in the background. “DON’T BELIEVE HIM, MOM! HE’S A LIAR!”
Oxbear practically snorted with laugher.
“Thanks, pal. As if I don’t have enough stress in my life already.”
If he had stopped before the “shrunk four inches”, I would have almost believed him.