To Soulard
Things were looking up by Thursday morning. It was off with Grandma for their annual visit to Soulard and Crown Candy. OLeif accompanied. Frances, who was still recovering, and Rose, (who was still buried in her bunk bed at 8:15 that morning), stayed behind.
“I have too much schoolwork,” Rose moaned from under a crown of tussled hair.
Everyone else gathered in the minivan for the ride.
“Collette?” Linnea asked, as they drove past a Jewish hospital some time later, “What is a Jewish Hospital? I mean, do they have special Jewish cures there? Like using moldy bread?… Or, no, never mind. That’s the Egyptians.”
Collette explained.
Soulard was bitterly cold around the outside stalls, where brightly colored fruits: pineapples, pomegranates, red pears, and oranges, were stacked neatly in pyramids. Candies and nuts. Peanut brittle for Dad. Fresh flowers. The bakery and spice shop were visited for cookies, coffee, cheese, and salami. And, of course, the pet shop was revisited where the Pumpkin had been purchased three years ago. A new trio of fuzzy kittens had just been placed inside.
“Pumpkin was smaller than those when I bought her,” said Carrie. “And look how fat she is now.”
“A beast,” Collette concurred.
Before they left, Grandma had to buy for Rose, a pig’s nose. It was a mammoth pig’s nose.
Meanwhile, Puck “bah-bahed” at everything that struck his fancy. But mostly, he stayed warm behind his wow, bundled in his winter coat. Grandma bought two small stuffed puppies for him, which he would have immediately stuffed in his mouth if it hadn’t been for the giant obstruction of his coat sleeves.
On the way to Crown Candy, they discussed the gigantic ad on the side of a building announcing the grand opening of a hotel and casino on December 19th.
“Oh, that’s your birthday, Collette,” said Mom.
“We should take Collette to the casino for her birthday,” Linnea giggled.
“Yes, we’ll all just pile into the big green van,” Mom said.
Collette opted to pass on the facetious offer.
Then everyone talked about how pessimistic the Snicketts girls were.
“Well, Mom’s not,” said Joe. “But she’s a Combs, I guess. Yes, it’s just the Snicketts girls who are too pessimistic. It’s because none of them have boyfriends.”
“Collette’s married.”
“Well… It’s because she’s sad that none of her sisters have wedded bliss.”
Crown Candy saw the usual – vanilla malts, Reubens, BLTs, “The Big Cheese”, etc. Joe placed a call to Curly as his meal was served, in order to make him jealous regarding the vanilla malt.
“He was craving one the other day,” said Joe.
Later, while they waited in the minivan for Grandma, Mom, and Linnea to finish at their table, Carrie switched on Matt Bellamy laugh tracks. Then Joe switched it to “The Chipmunk Song”, slowed down.
“Oooh! I’m so full, I think my pancreas just blew up!” Joe announced, as Linnea opened the car door.
The afternoon concluded with preparations for Israel and birthday gift shopping for Leia and Gretyl.