Worst Movie of All Time
One low, long rumble of thunder early in the morning. That was it. For all I know, it was a tractor trailer gone wrong. But I don’t think so. Anyway, nothing else of note weather-wise for the rest of the day.
Puck being off school for the Easter hollidays, it was one glorious day-long bash of Legos, Adventures in Odyssey, and a little Minecraft to space things out. He spent an estimated nine hours building an elaborate clock tower of super heroes and villains, sorting out unwanted pieces from his Lego (former paper) box.
“This is Megablocks, Mom,” he handed me several pieces. “Not Legos. I do not desire to play with Megablocks.”
La-dee-dah.
Watching a Kenyan-based Disney for dinner, Puck held a handful of tortilla in one hand – “Look, Mom!” – flapping the layered scraps like a flabby old eagle trying to take off.
When the film switched to scenes of Masai drinking cow’s blood mixed with milk, Puck looked back at me. “I think I’m going to faint.”
If he’s inclined that way one of these days, he certainly gets that from me. Because, what do Snicketts kids do on a Friday night? How about get together in our cold basement to take blood tests before watching “Twilight”?
Well, it didn’t take me long. Carrie finished administering my test and about sixty seconds later, I went down. Well, not a black-out or anything dramatic like that. Instead, I hit the couch upstairs with a clementine while Carrie chased Joe around downstairs with a needle.
“We have a family of wusses!” Carrie-Bri declared, swirling blood and water on another test card, before the movie was finally switched on and I had regained my normal senses.
In the end, Joe matched Carrie, Francis, and Linnea. I matched Dad. Mom was in a set of her own. Rose: TBD.
Meanwhile – “Twilight”. We had been waiting months to watch it, just for the heck of it, to see how terrible it actually was. Even I was not prepared for the awfulness.
“Did I miss anything important?” Carrie finally asked, as Linnea began to space out. “This is too slow to follow.”
By about 10:15 that night I think we had almost unanimously declared “Twilight” – The Worse Movie of All Time.