Archive

19 FEB 26

On 30 days of Puck being away now... and the house feels it... Also... there's no helpful distractions during math class while Yali and Patience scratch through pictographs wishing big bro was available to stir up some trouble... But they still slog into it anyway... and by the

18 FEB 26

Kids sleeping in late... they always internally sense when math work sheets are waiting for them... While I prep plates of toast “with Irish butter!” which Yali has been insisting on lately... he walks out with another of Puck's old NASA tees tucked into his jeans and an

17 FEB 26

A little short on sleep again as Puck's cat spends part of the night wedged up tightly against me under a cold fan and he isn't moving... And because it's Chinese New Year Patience gets to swap classes for K-dramas... the lack of cultural

16 FEB 26

It's a school holiday so Yali is busy conducting intense research for his Spiderman costume embellishments while Patience prepares scrambled eggs for them both... Yali cleans his plate but finds himself still hungry... sensing that he might get another plate if he tries a little winning of friends

15 FEB 26

It's another alarm in the five o'clock hour for day two of competition downtown... Patience is already rushing around hunting gaffers tape for the bottom of her hard shoes... “What? Who took it?” // “You don't remember?” // “No...?” // “I distinctly remember Puck asking to borrow

14 FEB 26

Awake a large part of the night with Puck's cat who feels the need to repeatedly tap dance up and down my legs for no reason whatsoever and when I finally do fall asleep he rams his snout into my ear for also apparently no reason and by

13 FEB 26

It's almost nine o'clock in the morning... Patience and I still watching a travel documentary on North Korea while eating through a bowl of mixed vegetables and rice and beef scooped out with Swedish crispy bread... Oxbear and Yali are leaving for Lava Island again meeting

12 FEB 26

We're in the eight o'clock hour prepping proper and improper fractions while Patience is already busy wondering how there's crafting glitter in her breakfast rice... We sift out a few hours of classes together before I grab a quick errand run... Return about twenty

11 FEB 26

“WHO WANTS TATER TOTS?” Yali bellows with an enormous smile on his face before eight o'clock that morning... // “I don't have tater tots Yali”... but he's already moved on... “Mom did you see my newest weapons I've made for my movie?”... as

10 FEB 26

Dog barking and howling in the night... Oxbear releases her into the dark to investigate... she returns some time later and sprawls herself on the kitchen floor waiting for belly rubs as reward for her vigilance... ultimately seems more like the whole thing was just a ploy to get out

09 FEB 26

Yali's requesting The Fellowship of the Ring soundtrack for math class that morning... feeling pretty okay over Greatest Common Factors even if it's still math and for this young Colombiano-Americano math is the worst... Play therapy splits the day right down the middle between classes and

08 FEB 26

It's not yet seven in the morning... thundering squirrel feet in the attic... again... great... A blur through church and Bible classes then sends us back again with a stop by the grocery store for ingredients for 7-layer dip which isn't actually for the Super Bowl

07 FEB 26

Yali's voice has dropped into the basement and a little lower by the morning... though the cough has been rescinded and he's already cooking new ideas for later in the day... But first... freestyle skiing during breakfast while Oxbear is gone shooting with pals... before we

06 FEB 26

“Man of Constant Sorrow” inexplicably twanging through my head before waking early that morning... as Oxbear lightly knocks around the house leaving for his 7AM men's meeting at church... During breakfast the Olympics are switched back on again about eighteen months later... curling preliminaries between the U.S.

05 FEB 26

Brushing on a little eye liner before eight o'clock that morning... hear Yali from down the hall trying to wake his sister for the hospital with the Aztec death whistle... Twenty minutes later he's thrown a black sports jacket over Puck's old NASA t-shirt.

04 FEB 26

Open the door that morning to Yali posing motionless crumpled against the front door in shredded jungle costuming and “even more realistic-looking fake blood!” carefully daubed on and around his nose... “Dino attack Yali?”... He nods almost imperceptibly to preserve the effect of a dead man recently tossed by an

03 FEB 26

Blackbirds barking in the cedar trees over a bed of snow... steel sky still cold... Yali's snapping into a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos for breakfast... “Yali really?”... while Patience has extensive questions about demons and the occult... But we've also got to learn things about

02 FEB 26

The rodent death count continues to climb... there must be some kind of silent colony living in the basement walls or something... Cheese is looking smug over his self-assumed celebrity status and also looking much like he can't be bothered about anything else but the hunt... and naps.

01 FEB 26

It's barely seven o'clock in the morning... while Yali pounds down the hall to the shower... I check on the mourning meowing of Puck's cat in the basement and find the treadmill running at about 0.5 miles per hour... no answers... maybe the

31 JAN 26

Oxbear returns from an early business meeting with a friend to scoop Yali off to the Derby... ...while Patience and I grab some hot breakfast sandwiches and wind the opposite direction to the studio for Patience's three hours of dance... she hops out in about a 1 degree

30 JAN 26

Day ten as a new recruit for Puck opens with a case of wanton murder in the living room... King Cheese has found... and destroyed... and it isn't pleasant... Puck has always suspected that his cat is a small part psychopath... or maybe he's just offering

29 JAN 26

Yali is in the kitchen wearing a black neck tie blowtorching his breakfast... there's still a welt on his nose from where he whacked it into a 3D-printed Stormtrooper helmet the other day... a few minutes later he's walking around with a sandwich that doesn'

28 JAN 26

Morning begins with the cat exploding out of our hanging clothes rack spooked by probably nothing at all... he's been looking for Puck everywhere apparently... And with his master's foreign campaign now five percent complete... we start another day under a crunch of frosting-white snow... Both

27 JAN 26

Yali's sneaking in a bowl of chocolate ice cream before eight AM... small I notice so as not to draw overt attention... Then he and Patience get busy barking at each other about sneezing on each other's breakfast as the dog follows behind them... trusty vacuum.

26 JAN 26

It's a massacre site that morning stepping into a cold living room... Puck's cat has... once again... been very very busy and the mouse guts strewn across the floor suggest that he was most successful most successful indeed... So while Oxbear cleans that up... and more

25 JAN 26

We're at about ten inches of fluff and quiet skies waking that morning... quiet streets too... Watching the recorded church service from Saturday night... Yali snuggles up next to me feeling a little blue... “Yali... what... why is your hair purple?”... Apparently he'd had some time

24 JAN 26

It's a fluffy sugar snow in the morning... precursor to a greater dumping in the night... Patience still squeezes in two hours at the studio before the roads start getting especially bad... And Oxbear gets a few bags of chips to split over the rest of the to-be-snowed-in

23 JAN 26

While Puck is down at the fort beginning his second full day of Reception and all its random atrocities... Yali is full-pirate in the morning... it's an all-out drag-down slice-out one-man sword fight against himself with his saber and his aunt's fencing foil walking the back

22 JAN 26

It's a busy night in cat land... Mr. Cheese maybe sensing that his boy is going to be gone for awhile... suddenly decides to embark on a great mouse hunt... he emerges from the dark and the night with not only one mouse... which Oxbear captures in an

21 JAN 26

They're practicing heavy bravery as big brother hikes on the Army backpack to walk out the door that morning... there's no time for long goodbyes according to military paperwork... so only I will bring him to the office for drop-off... hugs for each of them before

20 JAN 26

A 3.8 earthquake just over in Illinois didn't wake any of us in the middle of the night like it did some St. Louisans... Instead everyone is up-and-busy... ...Patience binging the Gardiner brothers on Youtube shorts... ...Yali talking to his snake... “Justin... I need your opinion... does

19 JAN 26

It's another squirrel party in the attic early that morning... and a surprising amount of songbirds for an hour that is only fourteen degrees with the sun fully up... With Oxbear off work all week and it being a holiday anyway... the kids are free for fun... and

18 JAN 26

It is unnecessarily cold that morning... shades raised to iced windows... Kids charge up after the church service with cups of hot cocoa before running across the frozen parking lot to Sunday School... Oxbear is called away that afternoon to friends in town from Texas... so while he's

17 JAN 26

Four-thirty alarm... Forty-five minutes later a clean slingshot down 70 towards KC... Patience snoozes the first two hours as a band of cream floats behind us in the east... rising sun stutters into a sky of dark lavender filled with blitzing snow flurries... blasting us further west... In the seven

16 JAN 26

Yali is busy with Makerspace projects and the History Museum with a friend that morning... ...while Patience challenges Puck to... “AN ARM WRESTLE!”... “An arm wrestle... really?” “YES!” Every round ends in a full Puck victory with no more effort than a tap of energy... but he is amused all

15 JAN 26

Yali's standing at the side of my bed early that morning holding the skin closed over a slice in his finger... “Need a band-aid Yali?” **nods**... 3D-printer injuries are a real thing... Half an hour later he's sitting with Patience over sheets of equivalent fractions... but

14 JAN 26

“I had a Christmas dream last night...” Patience is explaining cheerfully to me while preparing a plate of eggs and chopped salad for her dad's breakfast... “I was competing against the Grinch in Irish dance!”... Blink and both parties have returned from play therapy and school volunteering shifts

13 JAN 26

Patience is explaining her most recent dream to me as she usually does in the first moments of the morning... “And the penguin was wearing a name tag!”... ...as Yali sleepily joins the table for a cream cheese bagel sandwich as he zip-ties a 3D-printed knife wrapped in metallic tape

12 JAN 26

Pushing through prime numbers that morning... Yali is distracted staring at his mutated reflection in a socket wrench... **snicker snicker**... I need to leave the table for a few minutes... “Guys... no fighting... I'll be right back... just start working on the next section”... they nod like it&

11 JAN 26

Sun-rinsed morning driving to church in a nineteen degree windchill... Patience starts giggling in the pew when Vicar H asks the tiny tots during his children's sermon illustration if he would still be married if he removed his wedding ring... “NOPE!” one of the tots yells out... Driving

10 JAN 26

Waking to a six-thirty alarm following dreams of an angry mallard the size of an elephant... Plate a hot breakfast for Puck already in his APFU for a morning drill down in Forest Park... He is delivered in a cold cold rain that turns a little slushy as I arrive

09 JAN 26

Kids are pouring bowls of Froot Loops before math that morning... Yali's snake already out exploring the terrain under Yali's watchful hand... Math is sort of rolling along... until Yali's answer to every problem becomes “Noah's Ark”... And by the time he

08 JAN 26

Field tripping to Rockwoods late in the morning... all three kids toted in the van with me as they hop out under smoky skies and a whisper of rain in the west... Yali reads the sign at the beginning of the 3.25 mile Lime Kiln Trail... “Keep pets on

07 JAN 26

Adding mixed numbers is going so-so for the kids that morning... Oxbear is in the kitchen packing jars of homemade pickled onions looking like pink and white marble under glass... This activity is apparently more interesting than mixed numbers so the kids eventually meander in where Yali begins sticking thumbtacks

06 JAN 26

Kids are bulldozing through a bag of mini marshmallows that morning... ...while Puck... having freshly completed another work-out in the basement... lights matches and tosses them at his brother... “HAHAHA!” Yali laughs and dodges the flaming missiles... “Boys...” But they're busy waving boffer sticks and electrical cords at

05 JAN 26

Walls glowing in an early red sunrise... smell of beans soaking in jars in the kitchen... Breakfast hasn't been served yet and on this twelfth day of Christmas Yali is already wailing on his cardboard and metallic-tape electric guitar... fingers flying along thumbtack frets... It's an

04 JAN 26

Gold splash through pale glass of Jerusalem light that Epiphany Sunday service... An hour later Yali about falls asleep on his folded arms resting on the table in the fellowship hall during a presentation on LCMS missions around the world... Early afternoon and Puck is coasting snow-packed slopes with J

03 JAN 26

Yali is detailing zombie gore to me that morning pre-breakfast... he's already wearing a lovingly crafted war-torn costume and a yellow bandana rolled and tied around his forehead and he's ready for more of it... Meanwhile little sister is ensconced in nail supplies and spicy chili

02 JAN 26

“Where are the tongs?” Oxbear calls over the sizzle of bacon and wintry jazz on the Alexa... “I think they were commandeered for the snake pit...” Yali's gotta get those worms in there somehow... So while Oxbear short order cooks some breakfast for everyone without tongs... ...we all

01 JAN 26

Swapping in a new metaphorical calendar begins with Oxbear chasing that putrid smell in the storage room that we haven't yet been able to identify in recent weeks... the source of it that is... so while he's busy playing bloodhound for awhile... ...the boys are feeling

31 DEC 25

Waking to dishwater skies... New Year's Eve plans changed due to unconfirmed flu... Mama's day is mostly obtaining and running back and forth between the boys... tea croissants eye drops more croissants Froot Loops cushions blankets Babybels penne pasta sewing requests Advil heating pads Vicks VapoRub

30 DEC 25

Both boys groggily open New Years Eve-Eve to probably the flu which left Puck shaking in the chills the previous night... somehow this doesn't fully keep them from bothering their sister though... ...who has taken advantage of her temporary reign over the house and is lounging on the

29 DEC 25

Wind is wild in the night... something hits the window hard but leaves no cracks... Some watches pass and the squirrels are back in the attic in some kind of domestic argument that leaves them chittering angrily at each other still some two hours later... Puck and I are on

28 DEC 25

On a day that will swing from 78 degrees to 17 overnight... ...and we're not minutes out of the church service before “someone” has left the words “HELLFIRE CLUB” Sharpied on my hand-carved floor mirror from India... “Yali?” // “I'm SORRY!”... That can be figured out later.

27 DEC 25

Heavy mist stamped on cool dark earth that morning... heavy enough to obscure the Missouri as we cross over to St. Charles County for Christmas Number Five... It's a merry pop of activity throughout the morning and afternoon with all present except for Z&M over in

26 DEC 25

After Patience has spent almost an hour curling and spraying her hair for Christmas Number Four... ...most of us zip north to New Town where most of the aunts and uncles and cousins have already arrived for coolers of “BLUE DRINKS!” for the kids (aka Kool-Aid bottles) and catered sandwiches.

25 DEC 25

We're not even to gifts yet that morning and Yali is already giving a punch-by-punch slice-by-slice of his own version of a horror film for me... Twenty minutes later it's breakfast casserole around the Christmas tree and stacks of bento boxes and costume pieces and survival

24 DEC 25

Giggle giggle... giggle giggle... it's early... but not really that early because it's Christmas Eve and parents should be able to sleep a little later sometimes... giggle giggle... giggle giggle... “SHHHHHH!! THEY CAN'T KNOW WE'RE HERE!!”... an aggressive whisper from Oxbear'

23 DEC 25

It's mid-morning and a wad of flaming paper towel coasts through the air towards one of my book stacks on the dinner table... I catch it in time... “Yali! Why?”... **shrugs guiltily** “I don't know”... Kids need to run around outdoors for awhile... scoop them out

22 DEC 25

Morning breaks in a crack of light across the East... what looks very much like the fissure of space-time in Amy Pond's bedroom wall... Half an hour later Puck is in the kitchen waiting for his cream cheese bagel sandwich discussing historical adaptive intelligence... “If you brought an

21 DEC 25

A cold morning waits... ...rolling out the door to church... cold slices of pizza for the short road... my sweater still smells of woodsmoke... Yali wrapping his knuckles in masking tape like a boxer for no very clear reason... Oxbear teases Patience about 3D-printing his face onto medallions for her

20 DEC 25

While Patience is up saying goodbye to the studio for the next sixteen days of Christmas break... ...Oxbear has been busy chasing two squirrels out of the attic and sealing up the gaps... and probably their entire acorn pantry... ...and Yali is just as busy sharing with me in detail

19 DEC 25

“Open this!” Patience declares... dropping a shiny silver package almost on my head around seven o'clock that morning... “Happy birthday!” Oxbear adds... ...as I peel back the paper to reveal Patience's gift which she chose herself off my list... a pair of panda slippers... since the

18 DEC 25

The ghost prints are hanging at angles on the wall again that morning... “But they're not upside-down this time...” Yali helpfully points this out for me... Around this time the wind spins up as Elmer announces on the group chat that there's a tornado warning north

17 DEC 25

Puck and I are in deep conversation about the measles vaccine and world stats that morning when I realize the time and scoot Patience out the door... ...as Puck drops a lit match into my lemon sparkling water and smiles with a kind of very 18 year-old boy satisfaction at

16 DEC 25

Yali and Patience both find themselves wearing capybara themed tees that morning as they join the table for mixed numbers and a brief study on “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”... ...interrupted “only” by a round of Cards Against Humanity (family edition) with parents after fights broke out over fractions... moods

15 DEC 25

Yali is very busy that morning during Creative Writing... carefully crushing La Croix cans (or probably knock-off La Croix) into geometric patterns... ...while the mobile mechanic is examining Puck's Lincoln in the carport in about a 7 degree windchill... ...and Puck returns from two days at J'

14 DEC 25

Sunday rolls coldly and quietly along... * To church in a stupid-cold freeze for Oxbear and Yali to “elder” at the early service... * Patience prepares herself a bowl of mashed potatoes for lunch and cleans her room... * Yali makes himself five salami sandwiches throughout the afternoon... * Puck is skiing black diamonds

13 DEC 25

Patience is following me around that morning chatting about stuff before leaving for dance... “And all the girls at dance are so into eating baby food these days! And I don't know why! Cissy asked her mom to get her more baby food after she ate fifty puff

12 DEC 25

Opening Scene... angry chitter of squirrel somewhere on the roof... or maybe the attic... can't be sure... is this guy hosting a house-warming party? Get some French toast rolling in the kitchen with whipping cream and vanilla... ...while Puck is wrapped up with his cat and blankets and

11 DEC 25

House is still quiet early that morning... dog trots past... giant wad of sauce-less spaghetti hanging from her jaw... she likes her pig-slop treats... It's a cold one... some snap as Puck later wakes to hit the pavement... sprinting between neighborhoods until his lungs hurt from the biting

10 DEC 25

A high high wind has melted off the remainder of the snow in the night... Patience is busy crafting breakfast burritos at the stove... ...before she joins Yali for Round 1 of classes at the table where he's just been given 116 fencing terms to memorize for his

09 DEC 25

Up too late the previous night indulging in another Madeleine L'Engle and a 1964 biography on Ralph Vaughan Williams... ...cue the seven o'clock hour amidst an explosion of plush stingrays and huskies and other fauna left by Patience all over our bed... It's already

08 DEC 25

Kids are deep in the books... sort of... Yali's making Spiderman minifigs backflip across his notebook with squishy spiderweb sound effects... ...as Puck emerges for a morning work-out to supervise Patience's online multiplication flashcards... bellowing motivational phrases at her following incorrect answers... “NO!... WRONG!... NO!”... then

07 DEC 25

Early enough to the eight o'clock service to find the least squeaky pew on the Epistle side... but they're all running about the same decibels that deep into the nave that morning... so just keep the first one we sit in... Back home... Yali practicing his

06 DEC 25

The morning's hours are a quick tick of what happens on a Saturday when I don't have to bus kids anywhere... * Dreams (actual dreams) of shopping for art supplies * Yali and Patience playing “vicious puppies” before breakfast * Finding one surprise IKEA Ivar pine chair left in

Rest ye merry

Morning breaks... Yali repeatedly screech-screaming like a ring wraith around the house... ...Patience cleaning the bathrooms in rollerblades... ...Oxear off work piecing together the Christmas tree to Elmer's curated Christmas playlist... ...kids chasing each other through the house laugh-screaming... ...while I'm down in the basement sorting

04 DEC 25

Oxbear is gone to the dentist before eight... ...while there's a squirrel fight being conducted in the attic... hmm... seems a little cruel to kick them out now... with the windchill being in the teens and all... Kids are sitting with math work sheets after breakfast... Yali using

03 DEC 25

Yali's sitting on the edge of my bed dressed for an early morning therapy session adjusting the remainder of his wardrobe... mostly a belt and keys attached to his belt loop and a plastic ring on a chain around his neck... and apparently a box on top of

02 DEC 25

It's early and it's a snow day for most of the city... Yali's wrapped in one of the picnic quilts pulled over his head while he sits over the floor vent capturing all the hot air as it tumbles upwards... when Patience walks into

01 DEC 25

Morning opens with one child moping across my bed in rollerblades and a wounded spirit... ...another wrapped in slashed shirts soaked in fake blood... ...and another waiting for church sausage and eggs over easy for breakfast... ...as Yali and Patience begin slowly pressing into my airspace side-by-side with questions and

30 NOV 25

Some hours into the morning post-church I find myself with the boys completely rearranging Puck's bedroom at his personal request... he's tired of sleeping on an army cot... During this continued remodel Yali and I also find ourselves collecting frigid cinderblocks onto a flatbed cart at

29 NOV 25

Wake from dreams of hosting a podcast on textual criticism while solving puzzle boxes of coiled shoelaces before a corporate lunch of Vietnamese cuisine... to the dog chasing the cat down the hallway before rooting her stupid snout through the trash... just at six o'clock on a snowed-in

28 NOV 25

Kids are sitting on my bed sharing a plate of cold pumpkin pie before I've even fully opened my eyes... No straggling today though... Oxbear and Patience have to get on the road before the snow starts dumping up north... “Guess you should bring some winter gear in

27 NOV 25

After eight weeks of patience and careful ear care... Patience is ready to swap out her first studs for something new... but she encounters unknown blood from one of the piercings and there is some theatrical wailing from my bathroom mirror before I'm even fully awake... ...while Yali

26 NOV 25

Open the freezer door that morning to a black skeleton hand frozen in ice... Yali... A golden wind tearing through crumbling goldenrod and oaks past the windows... Patience is gone babysitting with some birthday blooms for "Grandma"... ...Yali is intensely sketching creepy clowns on his old light board.

25 NOV 25

Before I'm even up for the day Oxbear is already gone shooting with friends... texting me notes on the squirrel in the attic whom he's found swinging by its arms from the corner of the roof... caught in his act of trespass... “What should we name

24 NOV 25

It's early... but Patience has already committed a federal offense... “Patience... remember how I told you not to wash Puck's uniform with the rest of the laundry?”... // “Uh...” Putting this aside... Mama gets deep into cleaning for all of the day because Pops is off work

23 NOV 25

Wake from dreams of mountain-cracking earthquake... slow splintering right up the side of it... ...to a little light harpsichord for the morning rush... Oxbear and I had both hit snooze multiple times without realizing it... An hour later in the service... Yali and Patience elbowing each other in the pew

22 NOV 25

Puck flashes out the kitchen door at eight-thirty in full fatigues and aviators... While he zooms off to drill at Jefferson Barracks including a Thanksgiving lunch paid out of pocket by the cadres because funds are gone... how can the Army and “aw that's so sweet” pair so

21 NOV 25

It's a quick day of work under honey glow of lamplight... dripping stone gray mist of rain out the windows... ...while Oxbear takes a gang of kids field tripping on his day off... Yali has allowed Patience to accompany himself and a friend for the morning free skate

20 NOV 25

Rain washed night... driving west past quiet groves of low-flaming crabapples and persimmon... While Patience is hanging with "Grandma" and the Mac boys for several hours... ...all my boys are home where I have already reminded them to stay away from Patience's rented solo dress for

19 NOV 25

A slosh of rain left in the night reveals a full box of kosher salt on the patio table soaked through amongst bottles of food coloring in primary colors... “Yali?...” // “That was me actually”... sometimes Patience follows big-brother footsteps... I forget to ask what this particular experiment was intended to

18 NOV 25

Justin the snake is playing with his breakfast again that morning... sometimes he lets the worms crawl off and dig themselves into his soil-filled food bowl and then they're wasted after drying out in the heat of the tank... but I don't have time to sit

17 NOV 25

After a morning of cold sunshine... and some running and gathering... ...Patience and I hit a Theraplay session in south county where we stencil gold panda tattoos on each other's hands... ...before slinging through Target for gifts and a pair of Stranger Things pajama pants for Yali... At

16 NOV 25

Early morning begins with Oxbear's sous vide screaming for attention from the basement... it somehow shut itself off and the roast dropped sixty degrees in the night... and on the floor below it is a rank cat puddle apparently left in protest against the incessant high pitched beep

15 NOV 25

While Patience is ready to stomp it up five hours southwest later that day... ...Yali is working on his own adventures... vocalizing “Daisy Daisy” to himself about two octaves lower than he would have a year ago... suiting up as Spiderman for action flips on the trampoline... ...asks me to

14 NOV 25

While Oxbear and Patience finish packing to road trip south in Patience's continued quest to achieve the highest level in Irish dance... ...Yali is feeling some dark thoughts about how I've banned him from the chocolate pie in the fridge... “Mom PLEASE can't I

13 NOV 25

Lots to do... Patience is packing for Arkansas early... amenities spilling out of her magenta suitcase onto the floor as she prioritizes... “Guess we gotta test Dad's hair braiding skills” I note... feis-prepared... Meanwhile Yali has snipped all the fingertips off my slick pair of black Under Armour

12 NOV 25

“PATIENCE! I'm gonna make BUTTERFLIES lay EGGS in your NOSE!”... Because my hands are busy packing croissant breakfast sandwiches and my brain is split thirteen ways... I fail to learn what inspired this particular portentous promise but similar to most circumstances around here... the altercation is shortly forgotten.